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Same-Sex Adoptions: Should Partners Have Legal Custody

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When it comes to state laws, Gold-Bikin cites homophobia as the crux of the problem. "Look at the statistics: 90% of homosexual children are raised by heterosexual parents, their natural parents. It's based on a religious concept that there's something wrong with homosexuality in the first place."

"Things are changing," says David Purcell, JD, PhD, a clinical psychologist, attorney specializing in gay couple therapy, and author of the book, On the Road to Same-Sex Marriage. "In the gay community, there's a growing interest in adoption, not only among women but also men. There also are more people willing to fight for their rights."

"It's important to know how many areas of your life are affected by essentially being a second-class citizen," says Purcell. "We can't avail ourselves of many rights that heterosexual couples can. These second parent adoptions are really second-class solutions."

Purcell advises contacting the Lambda Legal Defense Fund or your local gay legal association to find out the laws in your state.

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