Driving fast, breaking curfew, arguing, shoplifting. Teenagers can push your
patience, but unfortunately, some kids go as far as blatantly flouting rules or
breaking the law, often with tragic results. What's with this rebellious
streak? How can parents funnel it into less risky business?
This Thanksgiving has special meaning for Emmy Award-winning actor, producer, and author Marlo Thomas. It’s the 50th anniversary of her family’s fundraising for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, located in Memphis, Tenn.
St. Jude began as the dream of Marlo’s father, the late, great funnyman Danny Thomas, in 1957 and has been going strong ever since. Since his death in 1991, Marlo, along with her sister, Terre, and brother, Tony, has been at the forefront of the center’s fundraising.
All teens go through similar phases -- the need for
independence, a separate identity, testing authority. It's part of growing up;
it's also linked to developmental changes in the brain that will eventually
help them become analytical adults.
But today's teens get an extra whammy -- social pressures come
earlier than in previous generations.
To understand this complex picture, WebMD turned to two of the
David Elkind, PhD, is the author of All Grown Up and
No Place to Go, and is a professor of child development at Tufts University
School of Medicine in Boston. Amy Bobrow, PhD, is a clinical
psychologist and professor in the Child Study Center at New York University
School of Medicine in Manhattan.
Brain: Under Construction
During the teenage years, the area of the brain called the
prefrontal cortex is developing. This is the part of your brain that is behind
your forehead. It's your thinking cap and judgment center, Elkind explains,
which means kids can now develop their own ideals and ideas.
Whereas younger children don't see the flaws in their parents,
adolescents suddenly see the world more realistically. "They construct an
ideal of what parents should be, based on their friends' parents, on
media parents. When they compare their own parents to the ideal, they find them
wanting. Their parents don't know how dress, walk, talk; they're
embarrassing," he tells WebMD.
All the arguments -- they're also the result of the prefrontal
cortex at work, Elkind says. As a child evolves into a teenager, the brain
becomes able to synthesize information into ideas. Teens want to exercise their
new skill -- and they tend to practice on their parents. "It may seem that
they argue for the sake of arguing. But really, they're practicing their new
Whereas wild clothes and make-up used to be a rite of passage
into adolescence, that's not true today, says Elkind. The preadolescent 11- and
12-year-olds -- the Britney Spears generation -- are pushing that fashion
Body piercing, tattoos, and music are today's "markers"
of adolescence. "No self-respecting 15-year-old is going to listen to
Britney Spears," he says.
Another dynamic: first love, first sex, first drugs, first
drinking. In earlier generations, kids weren't expected to be sexually active
-- or experiment with alcohol or drugs -- until they turned 17 or 18, when they
were better able to resist peer pressure, says Elkind. "Now they're getting
pressure at 13 and 14, when they're too young to resist. It's not that child
development has changed, it's that the demands are coming at earlier