Give Your Libido a Lift
How to get in the mood for love
The Power of Touch
Other than eating a balanced diet, how can we de-stress and make the switch
from indulging our overactive minds to enjoying our bodies after a hard day at
the office or at home?
Besides an inspiring environment that includes romantic music and
candlelight, Weston recommends trying the power of touch. It instantly sends
the message that you are worthy of being touched and loved, and it helps many
people relax within minutes.
Being the touch-er instead of (or in addition to) being the touch-ee can
also help you de-stress, Weston adds. Whether you're on the giving or receiving
end, you're still making a connection.
Three easy ways to use touch to increase desire is with:
1. Massage. Use a nice scented oil or a rich
lotion (maybe one with shea butter) to help your hands glide over your
partner's body. Don't worry if you aren't a trained massage professional. You
have some options here:
- Teach your spouse how you want to be massaged by massaging him/her
the same way.
- Rent a how-to massage video.
- If you really want to get serious, take a massage class along with your
partner. Check at community centers, hospitals, spas, and sports clubs for
classes in your area.
2. A back scratch. You don't need long nails for
this. This may sound silly, but when I can't sleep at night because too much is
going on in my head, I scratch my husband's back -- it relaxes me. And
FYI, some men really like to have their backs scratched.
3. A dance for two. When was the last time you
slow-danced with your spouse? Was it Uncle Bob's 50th birthday bash, or your
best friend's wedding? Do you remember how nice that was to take a few minutes
to hold him or her close and just feel each other and the music? When you get
the chance, try the power of touch through the art of dance. Hint: It doesn't
matter how great a dancer you are when there are only two of you in the
Work Your Body
Regular exercise is not only good for the huffing-and-puffing aerobic aspect
of sex, but it also helps you feel better about your body. Even without any
change in weight, the simple act of getting regular exercise helps overweight
or obese people feel better about their bodies, according to research I've seen
over the years. Weston agrees that if we feel better about our bodies -- as
well as stronger and more energetic -- we're more likely to want to get close
to someone sexually.
But now we have more scientific proof that exercise is a powerful
libido-booster. Results from a recent five-year study of menopausal women show
that exercise can fight the decreasing sex drive often seen in midlife
"Sexual satisfaction appears to increase with increasing frequency of
exercise," explains Judith Gerber, PhD, a researcher with the University of
In fact, exercise was the only one of the various factors the researchers
measured (including financial and career satisfaction, testosterone levels,
etc.) that was linked to sexual function. They found the connection between
exercise and sexual satisfaction at the beginning and the end of the five-year