Skip to content

    Sexual Health Center

    Font Size
    A
    A
    A

    When to Talk to Your Child About Sex

    When should you start talking about the birds and the bees? Earlier than you might think.
    By
    WebMD Magazine - Feature

    One night at dinner, my husband asked our then 6-year-old son what he wanted to do for work when he grew up. He replied, "I don't want to work, I just want to be a dad." My husband and I exchanged smiles. Then, without missing a beat, our son continued. "But I'm not sure I want to do that either, because then you have to pee in your wife."

    His comment came so unexpectedly that I nearly choked on my mashed potatoes. On the spot, I vowed to step up my efforts to provide sexual information for my son -- without waiting for the questions to be asked. I explained that while daddies sometimes do put a fluid in mommies' bodies in the space between their legs, it is not pee. It is a very special fluid called semen that sometimes can cause the mommy to grow a baby inside of her. He said, "OK, Mom."

    Even parents who are rarely at a loss for words stumble when it's time to talk with their kids about sex. Some children you can turn loose with a book (see sidebar) and then field their inevitable questions. Others will be more hesitant.

    Here's an important tip: Never avoid a "teachable moment." Dive in and offer accurate information whenever your child sashays anywhere near the topic of sex. Don't wait for the point-blank question to be asked.

    Keep your answer confined to what is asked. For example, "Mom, how does the baby get out of your body?" Your answer: "Through a special opening between my legs. That's why it's there." If your child did not ask at that moment how a baby got in there in the first place, don't start there. Just answer the question asked.

    Name all the body parts at an early stage in your child's language development ("penis" and "scrotum" for boys and "clitoris" and "vulva" for girls).

    Parents often ask, "How old should a child be before we start talking about sex?" My answer always is: "Younger than you think." Here's why. If you talk about sexual matters from the beginning of a child's use of language, there never needs to be the big "birds and bees talk." It's just a series of small conversations spread out over many years. You, as the parent, become the obvious go-to person whenever there's a question.

    If you become an "askable" parent, you will have offered your child an incredibly valuable gift.

    Today on WebMD

    Sex Drive Killers Slideshow
    Slideshow
    How Healthy is Your Sex Life
    Quiz
     
    HPV Vaccine Future
    Article
    Couple in bed
    Video
     
    HIV Myth Facts
    Slideshow
    STD Overview
    Slideshow
     
    Birth control pills
    Slideshow
    Herpes Vaccine Study
    Video
     
    6 Tips For Teens
    Feature
    things your guy wish you knew slideshow
    Slideshow
     
    Tense teen couple
    Article
    Better Sex Exercises
    Article