Ensure a Happy Summer Camper
It's not just the 6 million American kids heading to summer camp who may have trouble adjusting. It's also their parents.
Course for a Happy Camper
What can you do to better ensure everyone in the family is a
Get solution-oriented. "By approaching your child in an
optimistic, solution-oriented way, you both can prevent camp anxiety," says
Albano, assistant professor of psychiatry at New York University School of
- "Instead of saying, 'Make sure you apply sunscreen or you may get
cancer,' tell your child that the sun may be very hot and strong at camp, and
ask how they will handle it. They may say, 'I'll wear a hat or stay indoors'
and you can casually suggest that while those are good options, another is
sunscreen -- and that they are going to camp because they are responsible
enough to make sure they wear it each day."
This can strengthen a sense of self-reliance in potentially worried campers --
for the summer and beyond. "There's great relief in feelings of mastery,
and children will see themselves as braver and smarter when they faced a
challenge and met it on their own," says Suzanne Thompson, PhD, pediatric
psychologist at St. Louis Children's Hospital. It also helps parents come to
grips with an important reality that may quench their own fears: There are some
things they can't control.
Get real. Even Las Vegas bookies are unlikely to take bets that
Junior will be kidnapped from a s'mores-filled campfire or break a leg playing
"Separation anxiety, in part, is a fear of the unknown, but parents need to
be realistic about the unknown and stress this in their kids, as well as
themselves," says Thompson, herself a former camp counselor. "Yes, bad
things occasionally do happen at summer camp, but their real chance of
happening is very, very low. Virtually all kids come home happy and better for
the experience, even if it's without their underwear."
Keep sendoffs short and sweet. There's a good reason why most camps
transport kids or quickly shoo off parents on that first day -- when kids are
most vulnerable to homesickness or anxiety. "It may be hard to pry yourself
away from a crying child, but the sooner you do, the better," says Albano.
"Long goodbyes, especially when either of you is crying, only extend the
Consider reminders -- after you consider personalities. Many campers
benefit from bringing along reminders of home, a love (or encouraging) goodbye
note, a family picture, or even a lipsticked kiss to their hand. But this
tactic can backfire in some kids, making them pine more for what they've
"You really have to know your child and yourself," says Thompson.
"If your instincts tell you these mementos will help, include them. But
don't if you think they'll only add to their homesickness and your feelings of