Dr. Ruth Westheimer, PhD. Adjunct Professor, NYU. Assoc. Fellow, Calhoun College, Yale University. Fellow of Butler College, Princeton University. Author: Sex for Dummies; Dr. Ruth's Sex After 50; Dr. Ruth's Guide to Talking About Herpes; Dr. Ruth's 30 Da
What advice do you give a woman who is suddenly single?
Dr. Ruth, Westheimer, PhD, Sex Therapist: The first thing to do either if you are divorced or separated or you are widowed, and the first thing to do is to take a deep breath and find something that you like to do passionately.Don't sit home. Nobody's bringing you anybody on a silver platter into your living room. Participate in something, hike, ski, anything that you know that there are men and women.Go to church, go to the synagogue, go someplace where there are people of your age.I don't necessarily believe in those, I have to be careful how I say that, into those group meetings. For example, I don't want menopausal woman to go to group meeting where other menopausal women are, because you're going to get all of their symptoms to take home.I don't like that. I want you, If you have problems, go and see a therapist. I do believe in group therapy for other things, but not for such things, even, I would say if you are a widow.I don't think I would suggest, but maybe some need it. In general, I would not suggest to go to a widow group, because you don't want to sit there and hear everybody else's problems,that's the therapist's should go and see that. You should go and do something productive. Volunteer at a hospital, plenty of doctors there. Some of them also widowers.Do something where there are men, and push yourself to that. But don't sit and wallow in your misery.