When I casually asked my friend Becky about secret turn-ons for women, she didn't hesitate for a second. "Doing the dishes," she responded, as her husband looked at her in disbelief. "That's hot!"
For many women, turn-ons aren't about traditional romantic gestures like getting roses or canoodling during candlelit dinners. Simple, everyday rituals like pitching in with the dishes or having coffee together at sunrise can be downright sexy. (Listen up, fellas, you don't even need to spring for a card.)
By Tom Chiarella
How to change the way the world sees you, one thank-you note
at a time.
I don't really care when people say thanks. Open a door. Thanks. Hand
someone a stapler. Thanks. Push a button on an elevator. Thanks. That's just
chatter. Meaningless interaction. Broadly speaking, hearing thanks
five dozen times a day might be seen as an anthropological indicator of some
sort of social ordering, like cryptic head tilts between sparrows on the lip of
a gutter. It's often...
Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill, a couples therapist in Mt. Kisco, N.Y., and author of A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage, says, "When a partner can count on these kinds of little loving gestures being ongoing, it really makes for the kind of connection that's absolutely necessary to have a relationship hang on through the good and the bad and all the crazy stuff."
She adds, "Caring gestures make women feel really good. Guys don't realize how important they are for women when it comes to getting turned on in the bedroom. To connect physically, they really need that emotional and mental connection."
Unloading the Groceries
Lori Bizzoco, a writer and stay-at-home mom in Brooklyn, N.Y., says her husband not only helps out with the dishes but also with household chores and taking care of their 2-year-old daughter. But what she appreciates most is that when she comes home from the store, he will always come out to the car to help unload bags because he knows she's got a bad back.
"What makes it special," she says, "is that he never rubs any of what he does in my face or complains. He simply believes these things are what husbands are supposed to do. That to me is the biggest turn-on of all!"