10 Secrets to a Better Love Life
Too much boredom in your bedroom? Revitalize your sex life with these 10 tips.
Get Out of the House
One good suggestion for a better love life is to take regular
nights away from home.
"For couples that have been together for a while, sex can
become routine," says Castleman. "You're worn out by the end of the
day, after the job, the laundry, the kids' soccer games, and the errands.
"And instead of champagne and oysters on the half shell
with a sweeping view of Lake Tahoe as your reward, you've got your same old
crummy house and peanut butter and jelly and that's about it," he says.
It's not exactly conducive to an exciting sex life.
It can be hard to give into the moment when you're having sex
in your all-too-familiar bedroom. Your mind wanders. Did I remember to set the
alarm clock? How much will it cost to repair that water damage on the
"Lovemaking is, fundamentally, a present moment
experience," says Castleman. "The best sex comes when you're not
thinking about the past or the future, but only the present. And that can be
hard in a room where you've always got grandma's picture smiling down on
Castleman recommends getting away to a place that is stripped
of these reminders of everyday life. It doesn't have to be a fabulous spot by
the ocean, or at least it not every time. A non-descript place off the
Interstate might be just fine.
Redecorate the Bedroom
Of course, having a sex life that's wholly dependent on trysts
at hotels and overnight babysitters may be a problem if you're not fabulously
wealthy, childless, and unemployed. So in addition to some trips away, make
some changes at home.
"The bedroom does build up a lot of mundane
associations," says Weston. "But if you can do anything to transform
your bedroom into something new and different, that can make a big
And a better love life doesn't require installing a revolving
bed or ceiling mirrors. "You don't need to do something that will freak out
the kids or the housekeeper," says Weston.
Lighting some candles is an obvious suggestion. But maybe
getting a nicer set of sheets and a new bedspread will make a difference. Also,
removing some of the junk -- the kids' toys, the piles of laundry -- that tends
to accumulate in a bedroom out can have an effect. Think about ditching the
bedroom TV, too, or at least trying life without it for a while.