7 Marriage Tips to Stay Lucky in Love
Getting hitched on "lucky" 7-7-07? Besides luck, try this advice to have a happy marriage.
Marriage Tip No. 3: Take care of yourself.
This marriage tip is short and sweet: "Take care of yourself physically
and spiritually," Brody tells couples.
That way, your stress will be down and your tolerance will be up.
You'll be less likely to get on each other's nerves -- and to
squabble. You're more likely to have a happy marriage.
Marriage Tip No. 4: Discuss outside friendships.
While some married couples consider activities such as workplace friendships
with members of the opposite sex acceptable, some relationship experts
"I'm not big on cross-gender friendships for married people," Brody
says. "It's playing with fire." One exception, in his book: If a
wife has a friendship with a gay man or a husband has a friendship with a gay
woman, he's fine with that, since the romance potential is nonexistent.
Otherwise, he says, the line is too easy and tempting to cross.
Marriage Tip No. 5: Stop trying to control your partner.
It's another one of those easier-said-than done marriage tips, of course.
But trying to control each other -- using a technique psychologists call
"external control" -- is the main source of marital unhappiness,
according to the Glassers. In a happy marriage, partners know they cannot
control each other.
You have practiced this "external control" if you have ever told
your partner they need to behave the way you want them to or that you know what
Learning not to control a partner can be a long process, but the Glassers
offer some tips on educating yourself. "Think first," Carleen Glasser
says. Ask yourself: "If I can only control my own behavior, what can
I do to help the marriage?" Then think of what you can change to make the
problem better, she suggests.
Marriage Tip No. 6: Honor and respect your partner.
"Be honoring all the time," says Thomas Merrill. That means no
"my old lady" stories, he says. And it also means a wife
shouldn't be flirting with male co-workers or other men.
Respect was also a marriage tip that came up often from the marriage
masters, Boggs says. "The No. 1 principle that almost everyone talked about
is respect," he says. "You can have respect without love, but you
cannot have love without respect."
Respect, say those with a happy marriage, means not undermining your partner
in front of the children. "And don't go outside the marriage when you are
having a problem," Boggs says they advised. "Discuss it with your
Respect also means not criticizing your mate in front of others, Miller and
Boggs were often told by the marriage masters. To make this marriage tip easier
to practice, consider the input of one marriage master on the topic, Boggs
says. "One man told me, 'Let's say someone is walking by when you are
criticizing your mate. That is the only opinion they have of you.'"