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Signs of a Womanizer

Medically Reviewed by Dan Brennan, MD on December 02, 2020

What Is a Womanizer?

A womanizer is someone who has multiple sexual encounters or relationships with more than one woman on a regular basis. While single people can sometimes live this lifestyle without hurting anyone, womanizers may pose as wanting a monogamous relationship but lie to their partner about who they’re seeing on the side. 

Sometimes, womanizers will lead women on, allowing them to think that they want something serious or are in love with them. In reality, the womanizer simply wants as many women as possible, whether for sex or just attention. 

Some womanizers may engage in p olygamy, which is the practice of having more than one husband or wife. Polygamy has a long history. In fact, 85% of human societies have historically allowed men to marry multiple wives. But modern society favors monogamy in both legal and religious practices. 

The practice of polyamory, or participating in more than one serious relationship at a time with the consent and knowledge of everyone involved, is becoming more accepted in mainstream culture for both men and women. However, the difference in a womanizer is that he is deceitful or lacking compassion about the feelings of the women he is seeing. 

Signs of a Womanizer

So, are you seeing a womanizer? There are many red flags to watch for, which can save you lots of time, energy, and heartache. Here are some of the most common signs of a womanizer:

He Is Overly Flirtatious With Everyone

Playful interactions aren’t necessarily warning signs. But if you’ve noticed that the man you’re dating is always checking out other women, flirting excessively, and getting very close, very fast with women, he could be a womanizer. He may love that initial feeling of connection and chase it whenever he can.

You’ve Heard Rumors About His Past

Anyone you date will have a past, and you can’t fault a man for having other partners or dating experiences before he met you. However, if a lot of women you know are talking about this person and don’t have nice things to say about how he treated them, stay alert. Chances are he’ll treat you the same way and move on quickly to the next woman.

He Uses His Wealth or Status to Entice Women

Maybe you’ve started dating your professor, a wealthy local, or someone who is wildly successful. Pay attention to how the relationship started. Were they just taking advantage of an opportunity presented to them? Are they using their status to get you or other women interested in them? 

He Has a History of Cheating

How have his previous relationships ended? If he has been unfaithful to women in the past, this is a red flag. No one is perfect, and people can change, but be extra cautious if he has a history of cheating.

This is especially worrisome if he lies about it. More men say they cheat than women, 20% and 13% respectively. It’s always better if they own it right away and discuss the healthy ways they have since dealt with it.

He Won’t Introduce You to Friends or Family

If you’ve been with a person for a few months and he still doesn’t want you to meet his friends or family, this could be a warning sign that he’s seeing other people or not taking you seriously. He could be wanting just the fun parts of being in a relationship without a commitment. Ask if you can meet his friends and see how he responds or if he has a good excuse.

Dealing With a Womanizer

So, what if you’ve completely fallen for a womanizer? Do you have to walk away? Is there any hope that he will change? The answers will depend on the situation. Here are a few tips for dealing with a womanizer:

Confront the Issue

If you’ve noticed any common womanizer behaviors discussed above, it’s time to talk. Point out the things you have a problem with. Ask him directly if he will be able to only see you and not pick up other women. If you sense that his answer is fake or he is brushing off your concerns, he may not be ready to change.

Suggest Outside Help

If you’ve been dating for a while and really want to make it work, suggest going to couples’ counseling. This can be a great opportunity for your partner to work through some of the issues that propel him toward other women. If he agrees to go with you, it’s a sign that there is hope for the two of you.

Know When to Say Goodbye

When you really like or love someone, it’s hard to imagine your life without them. They may add something fun and thrilling that you don’t want to let go of. But when you’re dating a womanizer, you’re opening yourself up to be lied to, manipulated, and even used solely for his benefit. You should feel supported and valued in your relationship. If you don’t, it’s time to call it quits.

WebMD Medical Reference

Sources

Sources:

Elite Daily: “If Your Partner Flirts With Everyone & It Bugs You, Here’s What To Do.”

Dictionary.com: “Polyamory.”

Institute for Family Studies: “Who Cheats More? The Demographics of Infidelity in America.”

Merriam-Webster: “Polygamy.”

Merriam-Webster: “Womanize.”

NBC News: What is ‘pocketing’? Here’s how to tell if it’s happening in your relationship.”

Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B Biological Sciences: “The puzzle of monogamous marriage.”

Planned Parenthood: “Cheating and Breakups.”

Psychology Today: “What Can You Change About Your Partner?”

Scroll: “Across cultures, men and women use signs of wealth to attract mates on Tinder.”

Vice: “How to Tell Your Partner You Want to Go to Couples Therapy.”

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