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The Affair You Don't Know You're Having

Are you in an Emotional Affair? continued...

IT'S ABOUT TO GET PHYSICAL WHEN YOU...

  • Find yourself feeling vulnerable and turn to the other man for support rather than to your husband or a trusted relative or girlfriend.
  • Accelerate the level of intimacy through sexual or suggestive talk over e-mail or the phone.
  • Put yourself in a situation where the two of you could be alone.

TO FORTIFY YOUR MARRIAGE...

  • Stay honest with your husband. Share with him all your hopes, triumphs, and failures — as well as your attractions and temptations, which will help keep you from acting on them.
  • Make time for just the two of you on a regular basis — away from the kids, your friends, and family.
  • Surround yourself with happily married friends who don't believe in fooling around. Having positive, emotionally connected role models will help you stay on track

"READERS REVEAL I KNEW I'D GONE TOO FAR WHEN. . ."

"The guy who I was flirting with regularly over e-mail attended the same event as me and my fiancé. When I introduced them, my face flushed as red as a tomato — I felt embarrassed and guilty about my fiancé meeting this guy, so I knew what I was doing was wrong." — Carolyn, 31, Westfield, NJ

"One drunken night, my best guy friend and I confessed we had always liked each other. He was a perfect gentleman and left my place before we crossed the physical line. The next day I was completely embarrassed and knew that I didn't want to jeopardize the relationship with my boyfriend so I ended the friendship. And now the boyfriend is my husband, so I'm glad I did." — Allie, 29, Yonkers, NY

"The cute tech guy who I'd been flirting with at my office said to me, 'You're not going to invite me in?' after I accepted a ride home from him. I liked the attention of him buying me vending machine snacks and complimenting me, but my husband would've had a holy heart attack if he knew." — Amy, 38, Chicago

"My best guy friend and I were snuggled on his couch underneath a blanket when I realized that neither his girlfriend nor my boyfriend would be happy if they saw us — and that our platonic relationship wasn't as platonic as we thought." — Kim, 35, New Orleans

*Names have been changed.

 

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