Angel Rose, 34, an assistant vice president at a bank in upstate New York,
was interviewing candidates for a teller position, which required that a person
have good people and communication skills, a professional presentation, and a
strong focus on customer service, among other abilities.
One candidate in particular stood out, but not in a good way. While she
could have been very intelligent, her nonverbal communication and body language
were way off. Her handshake was more of a finger shake, her eye contact was
nonexistent, and her slouched posture exuded insecurity. For Rose, what the
candidate said didn't matter because her body language spoke volumes: she
wasn't a good fit for the position.
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By the time we reach our 15th wedding anniversaries, most of us know how to
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"Most communication experts now believe that almost 90% of what we say
comes from nonverbal cues, which includes our body language," says Patti
Wood, author of Success Signals: A Guide to Reading Body Language.
Body language, she explains, is everything from our facial expressions, to
eye contact, to our gestures, stance, and posture. While the nuances of body
language are complicated, there are some common body language signs worth a
Body Language ABCs
Flipping your hair, shaking hands, making eye contact, and smiling are more
than just movements -- they're a part of your nonverbal communication, adding
emphasis and emotion.
"Body language represents a separate communication process beyond
words," says Ross Buck, PhD, a professor of communication sciences and
psychology at the University of Connecticut. "It exists simultaneously with
language, but it is emotional and largely happening at the subconscious
What are some of the basic body language cues that we display and what kind
of effect can they have on the impression we make on other people? Here's a
beginner's guide to understanding what our bodies are saying:
Handshakes. A handshake can say so much more than hello, nice to meet
you. "The most important part of a handshake is palm-to-palm contact,"
says Wood. "It's even more significant than the grip."
The palm-to-palm contact expresses an intention of honesty and openness, and
that your interaction will be sincere and nonthreatening.
The "limp fish" handshake, Wood explains, seems so uncomfortable
because it usually means that the palms don't touch, as Rose experienced in her
Here are other handshake types:
Bone crusher: A person may be insecure and trying to overcompensate with an
Palm-down handshake: A person may be trying to express his dominance.
A left-handed wrap of the handshake from the top: A person may be trying to
express his dominance.
A left-handed wrap of the handshake from underneath: A person may be trying
to support and comfort you.
Synchrony. Synchrony happens when two people who are interacting
mirror body language cues, explains Buck. What can it mean?
"Synchrony is a signal that both people are on the same page," says
Buck. "When you see someone copying your body language, or you notice that
you are copying his, it's a clue that you are probably sharing a similar
mind-set at the time."