By Michele Weiner DavisMen always want sex. That's the message you hear from your friends, from
talk-show experts, from TV sitcoms. Except when they don't.
What if you find that you're the one craving a deeper sexual connection, but
he simply doesn't want sex very often — or ever? How can you rescue your sex
life? Read on for couple-tested solutions for bringing intimacy and heat back
into your relationship, in this exclusive excerpt from the new book by REDBOOK
Love Network expert Michele...
As a response to societal pressures to procreate, she launched the web site
Kid Free & Lovin' It in August 2007. She's also writing a book on
"My motivation to start the site was the same for starting my book: I
got tired of everyone assuming I would have kids or constantly asking me
when I was going to have them," says Walters, now 46. "Knowing
that I may never have kids, I didn't quite know how to answer them without
disappointing them or making them defensive. So I googled the subject matter,
and found there were many groups of child-free people in my same boat, dealing
with a myriad of child-free issues."
What It Means to Be Child-Free by Choice
In her book The Childless Revolution, author Madelyn Cain echoes
Walters' sentiments. She writes that those who are childless by choice don't
see themselves as lacking anything. She notes that their preference is to be
referred to as 'child-free,' which reflects a considered lifestyle choice.
Whether more people are adopting this lifestyle choice is harder to quantify
-- there just isn't that much data on the subject -- but Americans' views on
the importance of children to a relationship do appear to be changing. A 2007
Pew Research Center survey showed that attitudes on whether children are
integral to a relationship are changing. Just 41% of Americans said children
are "very important" to a successful marriage. That's down from 65% in
Today, resources for the voluntarily child-free abound. Support sources
include social networking groups, like Childfree Meetup; web sites, such as
nokidding.net; and books, including Families of Two: Interviews With Happily
Married Couples Without Children by Choice.
Laura Scott of Roanoke, Va., was motivated to create the Childless by Choice
project to test commonly held assumptions about the child-free. Her
self-described "research project" has ballooned into a book and
documentary based on a survey of North American child-free couples, historians,
and social scientists.
"One of my interviewees called parenthood a 'checklist' item," Scott
tells WebMD. "You graduate high school: check. Go to college: check. Marry:
check. Buy a house: check. Have a kid: check. Most people, like myself, who
decided early not to have kids, acknowledged an absence of desire. Speaking for
myself, parenthood seemed too important or daunting an endeavor to go into
without enthusiasm or desire."