Jon, a dog groomer in New York City, is just not that into his close
friend's significant other. He asked that his name not be used to protect his
friend's privacy and their friendship.
The question is, what should he do about it? Should he open his mouth and
risk the friendship with his unsolicited and likely unwanted relationship
advice, grin and bear it, or simply avoid this friend when he is with
This information is provided as a resource and does not constitute an endorsement for any group. It is the responsibility of the reader to decide whether a group is appropriate for his/her needs. For evidence-based information on diseases, conditions, symptoms, treatment and wellness issues, continue searching this site.
All are possibilities, depending on the nature of her offense, relationship
experts tell WebMD.
Pretty much all of us have been where Jon is now, and many of us may have
lost good friendships along the way. The best way to preserve a friendship is
to think long and hard before you open your mouth and make sure you have good
reason for speaking your piece. A little tact helps, too, when giving
In Jon's case, the girlfriend in question is basically a downer. "She
restricts my friend and dominates all his attention when we are in a
group," he says. "If we are all out somewhere and joking and she
doesn't like it, she gets into one of her moods, and that changes his
demeanor," he says. "He's not the same when she's in the mix, so
sometimes we don't invite them to do things."
If that's the only problem, says Sarasota, Fla.-based dating expert Lisa
Daily, "then the answer is simple: hold your tongue. If you just don't like
the person or you find them obnoxious, and you want to keep the friendship,
keep your mouth closed. Because obviously, they see something in the person
that you don't," says Daily, author of several books,including Stop
Susan Jaffe, MD, a psychiatrist in private practice in New York City,
agrees. "If it's just about not liking the person, then you should hold
your tongue," she says. "Try to spend time with your friend alone,
without the significant other. Or see them as a couple in a large group, so you
can easily avoid the significant other."