By Keith Ablow, M.D.
Rekindling Passion For The Husband You Still Love
People sometimes tell me they know a couple married 20 years whose sex life
is still as good as it ever was. Here's what I tell them in return: "There
are only three possibilities. One: This couple is lying. Two: They are telling
the truth, because they didn't have good sex to begin with. Or three: Sex is
all they really have together. They never connected emotionally."
I've drawn that conclusion by listening...
"Women say they can tell if a relationship is going to work
after the first kiss, after the first night of kissing," he says. "They
just get a feeling, an intuition."
And while kissing may feel oh-so-good, it also has health
benefits, too. It triggers a whole spectrum of physiological processes that
boost your immunity and generally spruce up that body you work so hard to keep
Kiss Me, You Fool
Among the benefits of a good wet one: That extra saliva washes
bacteria off your teeth, which can help break down oral plaque, says Mathew
Messina, DDS, a private practice dentist in Fairview Park, Ohio, and consumer
advisor for the American Dental Association. "Still, I would not go around
advocating kissing after meals instead of brushing," he says.
A serious, tongue-tangling French kiss exercises all the
underlying muscles of the face -- which some say could keep you looking
younger, and certainly looking happier.
Kissing might even help you lose weight, says Bryant Stamford,
PhD, professor and director of the health promotion center at the University of
Louisville. "During a really, really passionate kiss, you might burn two
calories a minute -- double your metabolic rate," he says. (This compares
to 11.2 calories per minute you burn jogging on a treadmill.)
When you give sugar, you actually burn sugar. Sex sparks a good
calorie burn, Stamford says, especially "if you're passionately involved,
thrashing around. If things were really hot and heavy, you might be looking at
a caloric expenditure similar to a brisk walk."
But don't confuse great sex with a cardiovascular workout, he
"People tend to have the misconception that anything that
raises your heart rate has the same effect as jogging, so it must be good for
fitness. Not true," he says. "Anything can get your heart racing ...
that's just adrenaline."