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Loss of Libido in Men

Why men lose interest in sex -- and 8 tips to rekindle desire.

8 Tips for Rekindling Libido continued...

Yes, exploring your fantasies is now regarded by marriage therapists as a good thing. If you want your partner to share in the joy, you may want to both explore further some of the newer erotic literature and films that include female fantasies as well as male. After you've shared yours, ask your partner about her fantasies. If she says she doesn't have any, don't stop there. Instead, ask her to name just one thing she has ever wished a man would do to give her pleasure. (That's a fantasy, but she may not call it that.)

  1. Build Anticipation to Combat Loss of Libido

Sure, the idea of sex being utterly spontaneous -- no planning, just the heat of the moment -- sounds great. But for anyone with jobs, family, and real lives, there just may not be enough hours in the day to wait for the inclination to arise. Instead, turn planning into an opportunity to build anticipation, the way you look forward to going to a basketball game. Take pleasure in the details - get your partner a little gift, put on your favorite music from college days, turn off the phones and hire a babysitter to take the kids out to a long movie so there will be no interruptions.

5. Focus on the Whole Body to Boost Libido.

For men, sexuality tends to be focused disproportionately on the genitals. Focusing on the other erogenous zones can ease performance pressure - and add new pleasure. Where sexual satisfaction is concerned, the shortest distance between two points - from arousal to orgasm -- is not necessarily a straight line to the genitals. Take detours along the whole body, for yourself and your partner. Be pleasure oriented, not goal oriented. Tease and touch and take your time.

  1. Talk About What You Want to Increase Libido

Talking is hard in the best of times, but even harder if you have been avoiding sex together and tension is high. So if you can't talk, get one of the dozens of excellent sex books out there and point to a chapter. Cozy up and read it together. Look at the pictures, laugh - and let your partner know you're open to making things better between you.

7. Go Out With Friends Together

Desire feeds on newness. When you go out to a dinner party with other people, you get the chance to see your partner in a fresh light. You remember how interesting and exciting she is - and she gets to see you shine as well. You remember why you were attracted to each other in the first place.

  1. Specialists Can Help Combat Loss of Libido

When you have an electrical problem, you call an electrician, right? Sex and marital specialists can be just as helpful when it comes to loss of libido, so get over your resistance to asking for directions, and call one.

Check with your doctor or urologistto rule out any medical conditions that may be playing a part. If you are taking medication, such as an antidepressant, that may be causing loss of libido, discuss alternatives with your doctor.

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