By Michele Weiner DavisMen always want sex. That's the message you hear from your friends, from talk-show experts, from TV sitcoms. Except when they don't.
What if you find that you're the one craving a deeper sexual connection, but he simply doesn't want sex very often — or ever? How can you rescue your sex life? Read on for couple-tested solutions for bringing intimacy and heat back into your relationship, in this exclusive excerpt from the new book by REDBOOK Love Network expert Michele Weiner...
Getting caught during a delicate moment, whether you’re solo or with a partner, is common.
“It’s best to address your embarrassment head-on,” says Carole Lieberman, MD, a psychiatrist in Beverly Hills. A light response can work wonders -- something like, “Oh, I thought I was going to have some private time here,” or, “We thought we were alone.”
Get caught by your kids? “Young children, in particular, may interpret sexual situations as Mommy and Daddy fighting, so it’s important to quickly let your child know that you are playing,” says Lieberman. Older children are more clued into what’s going on and respond better to, "We were showing our love for each other, and you'll understand better when you grow up.”
Your Partner Has a Fetish
If your partner makes a freaky request, ask yourself: Are you ashamed to do it? Is it unsafe? If the answer is no to both, “it’s worthwhile to be open-minded and willing to try it,” Lieberman says.
Before you start, discuss what it is you don’t like about the idea, and consider having a "safe word" that lets your partner know it’s time to stop. Knowing you can call a halt when you want to may even help you enjoy it.