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The 5 Love Languages, 7 Days, 1 Couple

The best-selling relationship advice book gets put to the test.
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5 Love Languages, 7 Days

Having the same love language made it easier for my husband and me to relate to one another, but it didn't solve our time crunch. How could we find quality time for each other when we could barely find time for ourselves, and everything else in our busy lives?

Being busy is no excuse, Chapman says. No matter what a couple's love language is, it takes time to accommodate. "If we understand the importance of keeping the love alive in a relationship, then we need to make time to do it," he says. "You put it into your schedule, just like you do everything else.”

Nise stresses that making quality time for one another doesn't have to be time consuming. It can be as quick and easy as grabbing a cup of coffee and talking for a few minutes, as long as it's focused attention. "You should always have couple time," she says. "You just need to do stuff together."

So what would we do together? At first we couldn't agree. I suggested something romantic, like reading poetry. My husband voted for taking a shower together. Obviously, we were going to have some trouble finding compatible activities. But finally, we did agree on seven things to do together -- one for each day of the assignment.

One day we spent nearly an hour wandering through the aisles of exotic foods at a local farmers market. The next day we went antiquing. We hired a babysitter one night and talked over glasses of wine at our favorite date-night bar/restaurant.

We soon realized that we didn't need to go out on an official date to spend quality time together. After our son went to bed, instead of sitting side-by-side watching some mindless TV show, we turned off the TV and talked. We discussed issues that were important to us -- what we loved about each other and what we felt was lacking in our marriage.

Being able to focus on each other brought back feelings and emotions that hadn't surfaced since the early days of our relationship B.C. (before children). We opened up to each other in a way we hadn't done in years.

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