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What Does It Take to Lift Your Sex Life to the Next Level?


WebMD Feature from "Redbook" Magazine

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When it comes to giving your sex life a boost, your first instinct might be to turn to the usual suspects: lacy lingerie, scented oils, maybe a naughty toy or two. But who knew that getting a new dishwasher, practicing Pilates, or having a baby — yes, really! — could improve your bedroom connection? Read on to find out what worked for these real couples.

HAVING A BABY

Trina Tschappat, 28, stay-at-home mom and part-time UPS worker
Troy Tschappat, 30, electrician
Westport, SD

TRINA: When Troy and I first got married, I thought we should be having sex nonstop. But Troy is one of those rare men who doesn’t need sex all the time, and it used to spark a lot of fights between us. Then I got pregnant with our son, Brendan. I thought I’d still want to have lots of sex, but I was so tired that I wasn’t up for it physically. A month before I gave birth, we’d stopped having sex altogether because it just got too awkward. We finally had sex again seven weeks after Brendan was born. I was worried that I was fat and ugly and that Troy wouldn’t want me anymore. But Troy was so gentle and sweet and didn’t care that my body was different — he told me I looked beautiful.

Once we got back in the groove, it felt like we were newlyweds again. Sexually, we could finally do all the things that we couldn’t do when I was pregnant. We also have this extra bond because we share this wonderful child. Our sex drives got more in sync too — we both want it two or three times a week. I think Troy’s desire has increased because of how much closer we are emotionally. And each day that I see Troy grow as a father, I just want him more and more. We do need to be a little more strategic now. Like recently, Troy came inside after mowing the lawn and said, “You know, I was thinking...,”and I knew right then what he wanted. We hurried upstairs and had sex while Brendan was napping — just an hour before I had to go to work.

HIS VASECTOMY

Tenna Perry, 47, dog breeder and groomer
Dave Perry, 47, scheduler in an electric plant
Browns, IL

TENNA: Pregnancy has never been easy for me. With each of my three kids, I had to go on bed rest. I’ve actually gotten pregnant twice while on the Pill — both of those pregnancies ended in miscarriage. So during sex, I always worried about getting pregnant again. When I was pregnant with Will, our youngest, I thought about getting my tubes tied, but Dave suggested that he get a vasectomy instead. He said if anyone was going to be in pain, he wanted it to be him. Dave’s choice was such a powerful statement of love in my eyes. As for how it changed our sex life? Simple — it made us able to enjoy sex any time, any place, without worry. And the fact that Dave volunteered for it was a turn-on too. We’ve been married for more than 20 years and we still enjoy each other sexually, and never hesitate to show it. My oldest says, "Ugh! Get a room!"

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