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What Does It Take to Lift Your Sex Life to the Next Level?

A HEALTH CRISIS continued...

WENDY: I used to be a competitive horse jumper; five years ago I had a serious accident. My leg was broken in multiple places, and I developed a painful nerve disorder in my foot. I was practically helpless — Jeff had to help me on and off the toilet and bathe me.

During my first year of recovery, I couldn’t have sex in the conventional ways, but it was really important to both of us that we recapture our sexual relationship, even though I was fragile and in pain. So four months after the accident, I initiated kissing and foreplay. It took us another few months before we were able to have intercourse. We had to work to find a position that would accommodate my injuries, and it was brief and far from romantic, but we were so happy just to be having sex that we considered it a victory. Our sex life kept getting better; we felt like a team exploring all the new ways we could be sensual with each other. Instead of sizzling, vigorous sex, our lovemaking was slow and tender.

Now that I’m doing better, we are still enjoying so much tenderness — in addition to exciting, creative sex. After everything we’ve been through, our love feels all the more precious. And we’ll never take good sex for granted.


Rebecca Roemisch, 32, publicist and innkeeper
Rory Roemisch, 31, financial software consultant
Austin, TX

REBECCA: Rory and I have been together 10 years and married for two. We were always pretty active sexually, but now that we both do Pilates, our sex life has reached a new level.

Rory is certified to teach Pilates and he got me into it three years ago. Pilates gave me more flexibility and better control of my breathing. My sexual sensations are heightened, I have more endurance, and I’m not self-conscious about my body — my mind isn’t focused on hiding my thighs under the sheets. Being more in tune with our bodies has helped us connect sexually. Now, we can fuse together with minuscule movements. We can push and pull and rotate our bodies for different sensations.

The heightened physical connection has also brought us closer emotionally. We are able to talk about what we like and don’t like in bed, and we’re more affectionate in general too. We truly feel like soul mates.


Lauren Mayer, 49, songwriter and music teacher
Scott Grinthal, 42, singer and church administrator
San Mateo, CA

LAUREN: When Scott and I first became a couple six years ago, we had a lot of sex — around three times per week. It was easy because my kids were 7 and 4, so Scott and I had plenty of time for sex after they went to bed. But as the kids got older, they stayed up later, often until 11 p.m. Scott and I get up each morning by 6, so we couldn’t wait until after the kids were asleep anymore. And even though they’re often at their father’s for the weekend (Scott is my second husband), Scott and I frequently have music gigs on weekend nights. It became rare for us to find a time when we were both awake and in the mood. Our bedroom time slowed to once per week. We both felt physically frustrated.

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