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Sex & Drive: Frequently Asked Questions

Are men more interested in sex, and do they have a stronger sex drive than women?
Answer:

"We know men think about [sex] more than women," says Edward Laumann, lead author of The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States, a compendium of the most comprehensive survey data on sexual practices since the Kinsey Report. Ask men how often they think about sex and "the majority of males between 18-to-59 of the U.S. population report that they think about sex at least once a day – one third think of it several times a day," says Laumann. "Only 25% of females report thinking about it every day." And men report having more sex partners over a lifetime than women: averaging six for men, two for women.

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Why do women seem less driven by sex, seeming as if they have a lower sex drive?
Answer:

"Pregnancy is a threatening condition for women – it renders them vulnerable, they can't run from predators," says Edward Laumann, lead author of The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States, a compendium of the most comprehensive survey data on sexual practices since the Kinsey Report. "If you don't pick your time felicitously, you get selected out of the gene pool." For women, how they feel about their partner is critical to their sex drive "and their likelihood to be orgastic," says Laumann. "'Will he be there for me?' she needs to know. Whereas men are much more prepared to have sex at inopportune moments because it doesn't make them vulnerable." And twice as many women as men report having lost interest in sex for several months during the last year. "The fear is that people will think this is a problem that needs to be fixed with a pill or spray – but in fact it may be perfectly normal," says Laumann. "Women are discriminating about when to have sex for perfectly rational reasons -- if not conscious ones."

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Does having a high sex drive, or having sex often, make people happy?
Answer:

"For men, we know one thing: The absence of sex makes them unhappy – for women, it is not as problematic," says Edward Laumann, lead author of The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States, a compendium of the most comprehensive survey data on sexual practices since the Kinsey Report. "We also know men report that they are happier and more satisfied about their sex lives than women. In our study of people aged 40 to 80, there was a 10 to 14 point spread between men and women reporting they were 'extremely or very satisfied' -- women were lower in satisfaction -- across the world."

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Does the quality of sex and your sex drive affect your overall health?
Answer:

"Being happy about your sexual activity also seems to make you healthier generally," says Edward Laumann, lead author of The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States, a compendium of the most comprehensive survey data on sexual practices since the Kinsey Report. "All our studies verify this: The more satisfied you are in sexual matters, the happier you are in general. We have also found that the happy couple is more likely to be compliant with medication when physical problems come up – so your health is likely to be better. Married people are healthier than single people."

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How do men and women compare with respect to experiencing orgasms?
Answer:

Men are more likely to have orgasms during sex, says Edward Laumann, lead author of The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States, a compendium of the most comprehensive survey data on sexual practices since the Kinsey Report. Seventy-five percent of men report they always orgasm during sex, compared with 26% of women. Additionally, on average, men take four minutes to reach orgasm, from the point of entry until ejaculation, while women take 10 to 11 minutes to reach orgasm.

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