Sexual Conditions Health Center

Sexual Performance Anxiety

Overcoming Sexual Performance Anxiety

If you've got sexual performance anxiety, see a doctor -- someone with whom you feel comfortable discussing your sex life. The doctor can examine you and do some tests to make sure a health condition or medication isn't causing your sexual performance issues. During the exam the doctor will ask about your sexual history to find out how long you've had sexual performance anxiety and what kinds of thoughts are interfering with your sex life.

Medications and other therapies can help treat erectile dysfunction and other sexual problems that are due to physical causes. If a medical issue isn't to blame, your doctor might suggest trying one of these approaches:

Talk to a therapist. Make an appointment with a counselor or therapist who is experienced in treating sexual problems. Therapy can teach you to become more comfortable with your own sexuality, and it can help you understand -- and then reduce or eliminate -- the issues that are causing your sexual performance anxiety. Men who are worried about premature ejaculation, for example, can try some techniques that help them gain more control over ejaculation.

Be open with your partner. Talking with your partner about your anxiety can help ease some of your worries. Trying to reach a solution together might actually bring you closer as a couple and improve your sexual relationship.

Get intimate in other ways. There are many ways to be intimate without actually having sex. Give your partner a sensual massage or take a warm bath together. Take turns pleasing each other with masturbation so you don't always have to feel pressured to perform sexually.

Exercise. Not only will working out make you feel better about your body, but it will also improve your stamina in bed.

Distract yourself. Try putting on some romantic music or a sexy movie while you make love. Think about something that turns you on. Taking your mind off of your sexual performance can remove the worries that are stopping you from getting excited.

Finally, take it easy on yourself. Don't beat yourself up about your appearance or ability in bed.  Get help for sexual performance anxiety so you can get back to having a healthy and enjoyable sex life.