How To Love Again After a Breakup

Medically Reviewed by Melinda Ratini, MS, DO on August 26, 2021
3 min read

Putting yourself out there again can be challenging, especially if it’s been a long time since your last romantic relationship. And sometimes you may not have moved on completely after a breakup. Trying to love again is a courageous act. It can take even more courage if your past relationship was bad or challenging.

Moving on is not easy, but it’s not impossible. It is not wrong to feel angry, confused, guilty, or sad about the end of your relationship. However, it’s not the end of everything. There are ways that you can manage the pain and prepare for a fresh start:

  • Focus more on yourself. Focusing on yourself involves doing things that make you happy. To relax, you may do things like meditate, read a book, or watch a movie you love.
  • Find space for yourself. Try to maintain some distance from your ex. You may try doing so physically and on online social platforms to allow yourself to get over the breakup.
  • Stay active. Now that you have more time to yourself, you may try to keep yourself busy by engaging in activities that you enjoy doing.
  • Give yourself some time. You may need some time to cope with breaking up with someone you love. Give yourself some time to heal.
  • Share with supportive family or friends. Sharing what you’ve been through with a supportive friend or family member might help change your perspective of the breakup. This might be for the better. Hanging out with them may also keep your mind off the breakup.
  • Avoid using drugs and alcohol to cope. Taking drugs or alcohol is not an excellent way to manage the pain of a breakup. In the end, you may feel worse than you were before taking them.
  • Physical exercise and sleep. Consider engaging in some physical exercise and getting regular sleep. They may go a long way in helping with the coping process.

Other ways. Other ways to get through a breakup include:

  • Jot down what you are feeling or thinking
  • Try not to blame yourself
  • Acknowledge that breakups are part of life and dating
  • Don’t stop having faith in relationships or individuals
  • Avoid holding on to the hope of getting back together
  • Avoid taking revenge

Many people have issues trying to get back into the dating scene. This is mainly because you have to figure out where to meet new people. It might be harder if you were in a relationship for a long time. A few things might have changed a bit since your single days.

The following tips might help you to find love again:

  • Socialize more. Meeting more people is one way to expose yourself to the possibility of finding love. Consider going to clubs that align with your interests, connecting with old friends, and joining local societies. Bring back your confidence in social spaces and increase your chances of meeting other people.
  • Consider online dating. Online dating can be effective when it comes to meeting someone who shares similar interests with you. You might also get more choices to choose from as opposed to meeting people physically.
  • Do not pressure yourself. Try not to be so hard on yourself about your breakup or trying to love again. Consider taking things slowly without putting pressure on yourself.

In some cases, your ability to find love might be hindered by your fears. You may be scared to love again because of different reasons. Love may:

  • Bring sad memories
  • Come with feelings like guilt
  • Make you feel anxious or vulnerable
  • Bring up issues like fear of loss or abandonment
  • Cause identity crisis issues
  • Move you further from a parent or caretaker

Luck plays a huge role when it comes to finding love. Success is not guaranteed. You might not find your true love when you put yourself out there. However, you may do the following things to help you increase your chances of finding love:

  • Know what you want in your life
  • Avoid being too picky 
  • Know the type of person you want to be in a relationship with
  • Open yourself up to adventures and fun activities
  • Seek help from family or friends

How to know if you are ready. It might not be obvious to figure out when you will be prepared to give love another chance. You might never feel completely prepared. But, put yourself out there when you feel most comfortable. You don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for.