Jennifer Love Hewitt's 13 Real-Life Dating Dos and Don'ts

Medically Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD on March 18, 2010
3 min read

With Love as her middle name, how could Jennifer Love Hewitt not be in love with love? The Ghost Whisperer star who first broke out in the popular 1990s sitcom Party of Five has dated some of Hollywood's most eligible bachelors and lived to tell the tale of what not to do. She dishes her tried-and-true love lessons in her new book, The Day I Shot Cupid: Hello, My Name Is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I'm a Love-aholic. So what are the her favorite bits of wisdom gathered through years of good dates and bad, dumping and being dumped, falling in love and losing at love and starting again? Read on.

Go Shopping. Always buy a new top or dress before a date. It will make you feel like a million bucks.

But Be Yourself. Go on that first date looking like who you are. If you want to play a part later, you can have fun and even slut it up. But if you're going to ask him to be real with you, start off by showing him your real self.

Hold a Little Back. Don't overdo it. Don't be too open about your plans for a relationship future on the first few dates. You could be shooting yourself in the foot. (That means never say, "I can see us spending the rest of our lives together.")

Pay Attention. Listen to what a guy tells you about himself. If he says he doesn't want a serious commitment, believe him. Too many women dress a guy up in the suit they want him to wear, and then say "Why didn't you tell me this?" He's thinking, "But I did!"

Learn From Your Losses. If it was good, you would still be in it. But it wasn't, so you're not. But your time together mattered: you can take what you've learned here to your next relationship.

Don't Torture Yourself. Never go to see a romantic comedy right before a first date or right after a breakup.

It Starts With You. Until you can believe that you are worthy of love from yourself, you can't and won't accept it from others. And when you feel that you are a truly worthy person, no relationship can actually break you.

Cut the Cocktails. Drinks can make a fun first date, but alcohol can give you a false perception and you may not see the real him. Meet up for coffee or tea first and get to know him, then have drinks on the second date.

Be Willing to Cut the Cord. If you see the breakup coming -- and let's face it, usually you do -- you'll feel like the ultimate woman when you take action first instead of sitting there, lip quivering, waiting for the call.

Don't Overplan. The dates Hewitt has enjoyed most have been very loose and unstructured and tend to go on much longer than expected. They're like little adventures.

If You're Selling It, He'll Buy It. Stop thinking, "He's going to pick her, not me." You're torturing yourself about your looks for other women, not for the guys. If you think you're the most beautiful woman in the room, you are.

Take off the Rose-Colored Shades. There's no such thing as perfect. It sounds like the most unromantic thing ever, but you want the shoe that gives the least blister.

Remember the Good Things. Make a list of all your boyfriends. (Wait, don't burn it!) For each one, pick one positive thing they left you in your life. It can make you feel good about what you've gone through to get to the right guy.

Adapted from the cover story of WebMD the Magazine’s March/April 2010 issue.Read the complete story here.