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Sex Positions for Overweight People

Medically Reviewed by Dan Brennan, MD on June 28, 2021

Certain sex positions may be more comfortable for people who are carrying excess weight. The following positions are only suggestions. The important thing is to do what makes you feel good in bed.

How Does It Work?

Missionary

The receiving partner lays on their back. The giving partner either lays on top or kneels in front and penetrates them. A few pillows under the receiver’s hips can provide extra support. Some people find the missionary position offers a sense of connection, because you’re looking at your partner's face.

Doggy style

For this position, the receiving partner gets on their hands and knees. The giving partner kneels or stands behind them and enters their vagina or anus. If you have trouble supporting yourself on your hands and knees, you can stack pillows below you or use a piece of sex furniture called a wedge to hold yourself up.

Cowgirl

This position gets its name because the person getting penetrated "rides" on top of their partner. To do it, the giving partner lays down, and the receiving partner sits on top. There are many options to make this position more comfortable. 

If you’re on top, you can lean forward to let your partner support some of your weight. If you’re on bottom, you can place some pillows under your hips for extra support. It also helps reveal the genitals more.

Standing

In this position, known as butterfly, the receiving partner lays back on a surface like a table or bed. The giving partner stands and penetrates. This position does require finding a piece of furniture that is at the right height. 

Spooning

Spooning is a cuddling position in which both partners lay on their sides, facing the same direction. Play around with the angle to find what works for you.

Myths About Sex Positions for Overweight People

Myth: Overweight people will hurt their partners

Everyone has to experiment when having sex with a new partner, no matter their body type. You have to find out what works for you. If something doesn't feel good, tell your partner. They should stop and listen to your feedback.

Myth: Overweight people have too many physical limitations

Everyone has their own limits. Body size does not equal flexibility when it comes to certain sexual positions. Other people have injuries that prevent them from enjoying certain sex acts or positions. Physical limitations in the bedroom aren’t limited to overweight people. Overweight people can enjoy sex just as much as anyone else.

Myth: It’s hard to find an overweight person's genitals

Some positions may help people who are overweight feel more comfortable while having sex. However, all couples -- not just overweight people -- must experiment with what positions give the greatest access to the genitals and the most pleasure.

How to Try Sex Positions Safely

If you’re  overweight, you may feel self-conscious about your body size during sex. But your weight shouldn’t stop you from having a fulfilling sex life. The most important point to remember is that you should always have open communication with your partner to make sure both of you are comfortable with whatever you try.

Talking to your partner about trying new positions

Don't surprise your partner with a talk about sex. Plan to have a discussion. It can also help to approach the topic indirectly. Start out talking more generally about sex or about your experiences, instead of focusing on your sex life with your partner.

It may help to plan out what you want to say beforehand. Write down a few thoughts about why you want to try these positions, and how they will improve your sex life. 

When you request sex positions, start with suggestions, rather than complaints. Make sure to include a few things that you like about your sex life already, and mention that you're making these suggestions to enhance pleasure and connection.

Show Sources

SOURCES:

Flo: “5 Best Sex Positions for Overweight People.”

Laura Morse: "TOP 5 SEX POSITIONS WHEN YOU ARE OVERWEIGHT."

Relate: "I don’t know how to talk to my partner about sex."

Sexual Health Resource: “Sex Poisitions - Photos, Tips & New Ideas.”

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