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What Does Demiromantic Mean?

Medically Reviewed by Dan Brennan, MD on June 28, 2021

A demiromantic person is someone who only develops romantic feelings for another person when they have a strong emotional connection to them. Demiromantic people can be of any gender identity or sexual orientation

Other Names for Demiromantic

Demiromanticism is part of the aromantic spectrum. Aromantic people do not feel any romantic attraction to anyone. Some may call themselves aro for short.

Some demiromantic people use the term greyromantic, which describes someone who occasionally feels romantic attraction. However, demiromanticism refers specifically to people who only feel romantic attraction after the development of a deep emotional bond.

What’s the Difference Between Demiromantic and Demisexual?

Demiromantic people can feel sexual attraction to others, but they only experience romantic feelings for people with whom they have a deep connection, which might take years to develop.

On the other hand, demisexual people can develop romantic feelings for others, but they only experience sexual attraction with deeply connected partners. Demisexuality is on the asexual spectrum. Asexual people don’t typically feel sexual attraction.

It’s possible for a person to be both demiromantic and demisexual.

Myths and Misconceptions About Demiromanticism

Being demiromantic doesn’t mean that a person doesn’t like physical affection. Demiromantic people may enjoy cuddling, hugging, and having sex, even if they’re not romantically interested in someone. Some enjoy physical affection, while others do not. 

Although demiromantic people feel romantic attraction only in certain situations, that doesn’t mean that they can’t feel sexual attraction. While they may not have typical crushes often, demiromantic people can have a platonic crush or the desire to be intimate friends with someone. Some demiromantic people get crushes on their friends after several years of being friendly.

Some demiromantic people may take their time before trusting someone, but that’s not due to their demiromanticism. And it’s not because they haven’t met “the right person” or that they’re “cold-hearted,” either.

How Demiromanticism Works in Relationships

Some demiromantic people don’t see the point of going on dates with people they don’t already know. So blind dates or speed dating may not be a good fit for them. 

Each demiromantic person’s relationship desires and experiences are different. Some may not enjoy typically romantic activities ever, while others may enjoy them only with certain emotionally close partners. Some demiromantic people fear rejection in relationships for not being romantic enough.

Demiromantic people can have meaningful and traditional-looking relationships, but that doesn’t have to be a goal. Demiromantic people should seek the types of relationships that make them feel most fulfilled and happy.

Helping Your Loved Ones Understand Demiromanticism

Coming out as a demiromantic person should be a personal decision. You have no obligation to tell anyone about your romantic or sexual orientation until you are ready. 

Demiromanticism — and even the idea of romantic orientation — may be an unfamiliar subject for many. If you choose to come out, it helps to have a prepared list of resources that you can give to people who want to learn more. The people you tell may have a lot of questions, and giving them resources to refer to can help the situation feel less overwhelming for everyone.

WebMD Medical Reference

Sources

SOURCES:

Cosmopolitan: “Demiromantic.”

Aromantics Wiki: “Demiromantic.”

Asexual Visibility and Education Network Wiki: “Demisexual.”

Aromantics Wiki: “Alloromantic.”

Aromantics Wiki: “Myths about aromantics.”

AVENwiki: “Demisexual.”

Demisexuality: “Coming Out As Demisexual.”

The Asexual Visibility and Education Network: “General FAQ.”

GLAAD: “explore the spectrum: guide to finding your ace community.”

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