A person who identifies as biromantic can be romantically attracted to multiple genders. When a person is asexual, they are not sexually attracted to anyone. Biromantic asexuals seek romantic, but not sexual, relationships with people of more than one gender identity. While biromantic people may be romantically attracted to people of two or more different genders, there are some genders they are not attracted to. The term panromantic refers to people who may be romantically attracted to a person regardless of their gender.
Biromanticism looks different for each person. A biromantic person may feel romantic towards men, women, nonbinary people, or people of other gender identities. A key distinction is that biromantic people may have romantic feelings for people of some, but not all, gender identities. Gender may be a more or less important aspect of their romantic attachment to a person, but gender does still play a role in which people a biromantic person may find attractive.
One size does not fit all. If you feel romantic feelings towards more than one gender, whatever genders those might be, you may identify as biromantic.
Myths and Misconceptions About Biromantic Asexuality
Asexuality is not the same thing as celibacy — the decision not to have sex. It’s also different from having low sexual desire because of a medical condition or other reason. Asexuality is a trait someone is born with.
Asexual people have emotional needs and desires, but rather than seeking sexual relationships, they may form romantic feelings based on friendship, personality, and emotional intimacy.
Although the definition of asexuality is not feeling sexual attraction to others, the reality is not always black and white. Some people who identify as asexual may sometimes have sexual feelings for certain people.
Demisexual people feel sexual attraction only when they are emotionally bonded to a partner. Grey-asexual people feel they are asexual, but there could be circumstances where they feel sexually attracted to someone. Quoi-sexual people feel that they just don't understand sexual attraction. These identities all fall under the broad asexual umbrella.
How Biromantic Asexuality Works in Relationships
In a relationship with a biromantic asexual person, open communication is crucial for partners to understand what everyone wants and needs from the relationship.
Biromantic asexual people may or may not be involved with someone who also identifies as a biromantic asexual person. Some people are willing to have a romantic relationship without a sexual aspect, even if they enjoy sex and/or do not identify as asexual themselves.
If a potential romance is developing, it’s a good idea for a biromantic asexual person to talk about what they are comfortable doing within a relationship. Some asexual people are fine with some physical contact like kissing or cuddling. Others are looking for a close, committed relationship with no physical element.
Helping Your Loved Ones Understand Biromantic Asexuality
Coming out is a personal choice. You do not owe anyone an explanation of your sexual identity or romantic attraction, but it may be helpful if people tend to make assumptions about your sexual preferences.
It’s important to remember that coming out as a biromantic asexual person doesn’t have to mean telling everyone you meet. You can choose to come out only to your close friends and family and you can choose to tell people about some aspects of your identity and not others. You can be a visible member of the asexual community or you may be fine with knowing you identify as biromantic asexual and leaving it at that.