Sexual choking is the act of choking someone else or yourself for sexual pleasure. It falls under the umbrella of breath play. That’s any sex act that makes it hard for you to breathe.
People may use their hands, plastic wrap or plastic bags, or specialized BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism) devices like hoods for breath play. They may place something around the neck or put a barrier in front of the mouth and nose.
What are other names for choking during sex? Other names include sexual asphyxiation and erotic asphyxiation (EA). Autoerotic asphyxiation is when you play with your own air supply, without a partner present. People may refer to sexual asphyxiation more casually as choking.
Why do some people enjoy it? While some who've been choked during sex, consensually or non-consensually, say it was frightening or unpleasant, others report it's exciting and part of sex games they enjoy. In one study, almost 82% of those choked during sex reported euphoria, and almost 44% reported a head rush.
How common is it? Sexual choking is common, with over half (58%) of women reporting they've been choked by their partner during sex, and one-third saying they were choked during their most recent sexual activity, according to a random sampling of almost 5,000 college and graduate students. Some said they were as young as 13 the first time it happened. It's more common for women and transgender and nonbinary gender (TGNB+) people to be choked, studies show.
Is Choking During Sex Safe?
Sexual choking is dangerous physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Sexual choking side effects. These can include minor health risks such as broken blood vessels in your face, a hoarse voice, or trouble swallowing. Severe health risks include death. Risks are greater when you have health conditions like high blood pressure and high cholesterol.
Mental health risks of sexual choking. Being frequently choked by your sexual partner may cause mental health issues such as depression, mood disorders, and problems with mental skills, research shows. The highest risk was found in women choked more than five times in the past month. They were more likely to feel sad, lonely, anxious, and depressed, compared to women without a history of being choked as part of sex.
Complications of choking during sex. The act of sexual choking can cause physical and mental injuries, and even death. During and after sexual choking, you may have:
- Trouble breathing
- Pain or a hard time swallowing
- Ringing in your ears
- Dizziness
- Loss of consciousness
- Loss of bladder control
- Memory problems
- Depression
- Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Your voice may change as a result of choking and become huskier, or you may lose your voice. You may also have neck pain or tenderness after sexual choking.
Over time, you may notice you have memory loss, or gaps in your memory. You might develop PTSD or depression.
The pressure on your neck during sexual choking can damage blood vessels, which can affect how much oxygen can get to your brain. Lack of oxygen to the brain causes brain damage or death. This damage can happen right away, or it may take weeks or months to appear.
If sexual choking tears or causes a clot in the blood vessels in your neck, you can have a stroke, which could be fatal. Pressure on your neck can also damage your thyroid.
Nonconsensual choking during sex. This is a form of violence and is unlawful. It's often reported in sexual assault cases, research shows. Sexual choking should only ever be done after agreement from all people involved in the sexual act. This consent should be out loud and not while the person is under the influence of any substance or asleep or impaired in any way.
One study found that one-third of TGNB+ people, and 16% of females, reported having felt scared while being choked.
Consent under threat is not consent. Consent should also happen every time sexual choking is an option, not just the first time. Remember, you can change your mind at any time if you don’t want to take part in sexual choking.
Autoerotic Asphyxiation
Autoerotic asphyxiation is sexual choking you do to yourself. People who do it find ways to cut off their oxygen while masturbating. It’s a dangerous form of sexual choking, because you’re alone. The risk of accidental death is high.
An estimated 250 to 1,000 people die each year in the U.S. from autoerotic asphyxiation. White people assigned male at birth make up the highest number of these cases.
It can be tricky for officials to determine whether a death from autoerotic asphyxiation was accidental or intentional. People may die when they lose consciousness and fall forward, strangling themselves with the object they were using to cut off their oxygen.
To perform sexual choking on themselves, people may:
- Strangle themselves with a rope or belt
- Hang themselves
- Put a plastic bag over their head
- Put something heavy on their chest that makes it hard to breathe
- Use a gas or other substance that cuts off oxygen
The method involves reducing oxygen up until you’re almost unconscious. Often, people will use a rescue safety release of some kind to help prevent injury or death. But it’s very possible to make a mistake when trying to figure out how long you can go without oxygen, and safety releases can fail. Death and brain damage from lack of oxygen are high risks.
How Sexual Asphyxiation Works in Relationships
Choking and breath play during sex is always a risky activity. Even experienced BDSM professionals recommend staying away from this type of play.
Never do this type of play with someone you do not know or trust. Make sure to read about safety information and protocols so you know what to do if something goes wrong.
Choking During Sex and Safety
Erotic asphyxiation is one of the riskiest sexual activities a person can try. The only thing riskier is autoerotic asphyxiation. That is more dangerous because you’re alone, and no one is around to help you if something goes wrong.
Death from erotic and autoerotic asphyxiation usually happens because of pressure on the carotid arteries (two large blood vessels in your neck that supply your brain with blood). This pressure causes you to pass out, making your body go limp.
Depending on the asphyxiation method used, going limp can tighten a ligature around the neck, causing death. It can also prevent removal of a barrier around the mouth and nose in time to avoid death.
Harm Reduction
Harm reduction means giving people the tools and knowledge to do something dangerous in a safer manner. Some people do dangerous things regardless. This can help lower the risks and save lives.
Harm reduction techniques for erotic asphyxiation with a partner include:
- Learning about neck anatomy to avoid injury to essential parts
- Using a safe word (If your partner says the safe word, all play stops right away.)
- Using a safe gesture, such as holding up one finger, in case your partner can’t talk
- Checking in with your partner a lot during breath play sessions
- Doing something less risky, like ordering your partner to hold their own breath.
There are no harm reduction techniques for autoerotic asphyxiation.
When to Get Emergency Help
If you have an emergency situation during sexual choking, call 911 right away. Emergency services are there to help you and make sure you’re safe. Don’t let fear of judgment or stigma keep you from getting the help you need.
Call if someone:
- Loses consciousness
- Can’t breathe
- Is having weakness on one side of their body
- Can’t speak
Takeaways
- Sexual choking is the act of choking someone for sexual pleasure.
- Sexual choking is common.
- Sexual choking is very dangerous, physically and emotionally.
- Autoerotic asphyxiation is sexual choking you do to yourself.
- Sexual choking must always be consensual.
FAQs
How common is sexual choking? Sexual choking is common, with 58% of women reporting they've been choked by their partner during sex, and one-third saying they were choked during their most recent sexual activity,
What is the cause of death in sexual choking? Death can happen from sexual choking when there's too much pressure on your carotid arteries (two large blood vessels in your neck that supply your brain with blood).
