Sex: Fact and Fiction
What’s the average penis size? How fast is premature ejaculation? Exactly where is the G-spot? Grab a ruler and a stopwatch as the experts sort sex myths from the facts.
Just the Facts on the G-Spot continued...
If you just can't wait for the numbers, though, a study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found "a median IELT of 5.4 minutes."
Ian Kerner says a common cutoff time used to define premature ejaculation is two minutes, but he adds that many of the men he works with "are not guys who can last a few minutes; they're having orgasms during foreplay, or immediately upon penetrating. They have a hard time lasting past 30 seconds."
But a quick trigger is normal, says Kerner. "Men were wired to ejaculate quickly -- and stressful situations make them ejaculate even more quickly. It's been important to the human race. If guys took an hour to ejaculate, we'd be a much smaller planet."
Sex therapists and physicians offer a number of techniques that can help men manage their anxiety and prolong their time to ejaculation. Several drugs -- like some antidepressants and topical creams -- have been prescribed by doctors to extend time to ejaculation.
And, contrary to the common perception that distraction or decreasing stimulation is the answer (slow down, think about baseball), some say that giving in to sensation can help address the issue as well. "The way to learn [to last longer] is by getting used to intense stimulation," says Prosterman, "to increase the frequency of intercourse, and feel every sensation of being inside your partner and enjoy it."
Come Again? The Mythical Multiple Orgasm for Men
While multiple male orgasm is possible anywhere two or more men are gathered and talking, actual male multiple orgasm is another story. Unlike the more established phenomenon of female multiple orgasm, men's claims of successive climaxes can stray into the realm of sex myth. At the very least, male multiple orgasm is difficult to verify and may depend on the definition of orgasm.
Prosterman says that the book The Multi-Orgasmic Man popularized "an Eastern meditative process that involves wrapping the PC [pubococcygeus] muscle around the prostate. There's a valve on the prostate that switches on and off before urination and ejaculation. The PC muscle stops this valve from opening, allowing an orgasm without ejaculation. The idea is to keep doing that five or six times in a row.
"Out of hundreds of guys I know who've tried this," says Prosterman, "I know only one who's been able to do it."
Is this man Mr. Lucky, or just prone to poetic license?
A 1989 study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior recorded the testimony of 21 other men who claimed to be multi-orgasmic, but Ira Sharlip says "that doesn't happen," referring to the phenomenon of "multiple orgasms in succession over a short period of time -- like minutes." And there's no such thing as separating ejaculation and orgasm, he says.