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What Is ASMR Sex?

Medically Reviewed by Dan Brennan, MD on June 28, 2021

Autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR) is a relaxing, tingling sensation that some sounds and visuals can elicit in some people. ASMR sex is the erotic use of specific visual and auditory triggers to enhance a sexual experience.

For some people, sounds or sights -- such as whispering, the sound of the shower running, or even watching someone make a painting -- can trigger a relaxing, euphoric response. However, it can also be used for a pleasurable experience in the bedroom. Some people even call the experience a "brain orgasm," like chills. Once you find a type of ASMR that works for you, you can start to incorporate it into your sex life for a more enriching and soothing activity.

While ASMR is not considered inherently sexual, the relaxation and stimulation can lead to more intimacy and pleasure during sex.

The trick is to find a trigger that works. It can help you bond with your partner and find a way to enhance your sex lives. Just make sure that you communicate clearly about your intentions, desires, and limits. 

How ASMR Sex Works in Relationships

ASMR can reduce anxiety and help you relax. It can also give you heightened sensory awareness or simply be pleasurable.

Some people who like erotic ASMR videos and podcasts say that they have a more intimate, even emotional, experience than they would watching traditional porn. Instead, it can help you explore your fantasies and desires in a more subtle, fluid setting. Some of the more ambiguous, artistic videos can provide an unusual creative outlet. 

Talk to your partner about what you are interested in and find what feels good for both of you. Make sure that you both consent and are clear about your desires to create a pleasurable shared experience.

How to Explore ASMR Sex

As with any kind of sexual activity, exploring erotic ASMR requires a bit of trial and error. Triggers vary from person to person. Some people don’t have ASMR triggers at all. If you do, though, it should feel pleasant, tingly, and calming.

There are many examples of ASMR erotica on popular streaming services like YouTube and Spotify.

You might also explore paid services for more explicitly erotic content. In some videos, for example, a woman might whisper words associated with sex. Hearing the person’s voice and breathing, combined with their appearance, can help the viewer experience pleasant tingling and shivers.

Videos could also include someone eating food or putting on lotion. Some other ASMR stimuli to explore include:

  • Whispering
  • Blowing
  • Breathing
  • Tapping
  • Scratching
  • Typing

It’s important to be clear with your partner about what your desires are and that you find something that works for both of you. Make sure you both consent and agree on what you want to do together. 

There’s no one right way to incorporate ASMR into your sex life. And the ASMR content you choose may not be erotic in nature but simply helps you relax and connect. Keep an open mind and focus on experimenting until you find a technique that works for you. Try not to have preconceived notions or put pressure on yourself for the experience to go a certain way. 

Show Sources

SOURCES: 

Cosmopolitan: “Wait, What Is ASMR Sex and Why Does It Feel So Good?”

GQ Magazine: “How ASMR porn gave the web the tingles.”

HuffPost: “Chill Out And Get Off: Inside The Strange, Sexy World Of ASMRotica.”

PeerJ: “Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR): a flow-like mental state.”

Plos One: “More than a feeling: Autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR) is characterized by reliable changes in affect and physiology.”

Vox: “ASMR, explained: why millions of people are watching YouTube videos of someone whispering.”

Wired: “The Strange, Subtle Matter of ASMR Erotica.”

Women’s Health: “What Is ASMR Sex And How Can I Try It? Experts Weigh In.”

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