Quiz: Bedroom Mistakes Women Make

It might seem like a kindness to fake an orgasm -- if it makes your partner feel better, what's the problem? First, you're denying yourself pleasure -- that's a bad habit. Second, if you fake it, you're giving your partner the wrong impression. The stuff that your significant other thinks is working for you isn't working. Over time, reinforcing that wrong impression can lead to a not-so-satisfying sex life.

Your partner masturbates. So what? It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your sex life. It just means your partner's human. 91% of men under age 70 have masturbated and 76% of women -- and likely many more.

Masturbation has benefits, too: It relieves stress, helps with PMS pain in women, reduces early ejaculation in men, and may even help you sleep.

If you're always trying for simultaneous orgasms, give yourself a break. For most couples, it's impossible to control. Trying just adds a level of pointless pressure -- and, usually, disappointment. It's tough to surrender to the moment if you're gauging your partner and your partner is gauging you. Instead, take turns so you can each give in and fully enjoy yourselves. Look at simultaneous orgasms as nice but rare things, like seeing a shooting star or winning $5 on a scratch-off ticket.

It's one of those clichés that seems to be true, at least according to research. One recent study found that on average, men think about sex twice as often as women do.

Of course, that doesn't mean that sex isn't important for women or that they don't think about it plenty. That same study showed that the average woman thinks about sex 10 times a day.

If you're preoccupied with how much sex you "should" be having, or how much sex is "normal," we’ve got good news. There is no ideal, recommended amount. So you can stop worrying about how much sex you think everyone else is having and focus on your own relationship. How much sex will keep you both fulfilled? That's what really matters.

We're not talking about French maid role-play (although if that works for you, great). We're talking about how our bedrooms tend to become warehouses for junk -- unfolded laundry, piles of dusty magazines, and kids' toys. Getting in the mood for sex means shutting out distractions, and that's easier to do if your bedroom is not full of nagging reminders of boring, daily life. Stripping down your bedroom to make a more neutral, relaxing space can help.

A lot of women are surprised and maybe even dismayed when their partner doesn't feel in the mood. Don't jump to the conclusion that there's some deeper, underlying problem. You know what it's like not to feel like having sex. They may just be tired or having a bad day -- it happens to everyone. Try again later.

Surprised? If you're unhappy with some aspect of your sex life, you need to talk about it. But that doesn't mean you should list every last one of your complaints. Sex is a sensitive topic for everyone, and your partner is likely to feel hurt. Try to keep the discussion positive. Emphasize what’s going right -- and encourage more of that -- instead of dwelling on what’s wrong. Never spring a serious discussion about your lack of sexual fulfillment during sex. That's not going to go well.

Too many women worry that masturbating, particularly with a vibrator, will desensitize them. Actually, some research has shown the opposite. One study found that compared with women who didn't use vibrators, women who did had better lubrication, were more easily aroused, and found it easier to orgasm when having sex.

Experts say that masturbating helps you get in touch with what you like sexually, and that can make for a richer sex life with your partner.

Another cliché that's backed up by scientific data. It’s not that women aren't visual; it's that they have more avenues to arousal. Men are likely to be turned on most by visual cues. If they really want to do it with the lights on, or is always pestering you to wear lingerie, you may have biology to thank.

Many couples don't have much time alone together during the week. Because of that, the few hours that they do have after work often get eaten up by practical discussions -- talking about work, the kids' upcoming birthday parties, and your budget for the next week. It's not exactly sexy.

To improve your love life, make a conscious decision to steer clear of stressful topics before and in bed. Yes, those things still need to be discussed, but try -- for instance -- getting them out of the way during a lunch break or by talking in the morning.

Trying something new in bed? Terrific! Experimenting sexually will help keep your relationship fresh. Just make clear what your boundaries are beforehand. Some women worry that they'll seem inflexible and uptight if they start listing stuff they don't want to do. But setting clear guidelines before you get busy is good. You'll both feel more comfortable and relaxed, and that can lead to better sex.

When it comes to sex, planning gets a bad rap. Sure, at the beginning of a relationship, it's easy to have lots of spontaneous sex. But as you settle in -- especially if you're also juggling jobs and kids -- relying on spontaneity is a mistake. Sex can get shoved aside from the more pressing stuff that makes it into your daily planner.

If planning sex seems unromantic, think again. Remember: Vacations and days off are fun, and we plan those. What's wrong with planning sex?

Sometimes, women can get a little uneasy when partners suggest something new in bed. It can feel like a sign of dissatisfaction with you.

Try not to look at it that way. Remember that a healthy sex life is always growing and changing. Why go through life doing the same three things in bed for 60 (or more) years?  If you're not particularly keen on the suggestion, just say so. But think about suggesting something else new that you'd like to try instead.