Grieving a significant loss takes time. Depending on
the circumstances of your loss, grieving can take weeks to years. Grieving helps you gradually adjust to a
new chapter of your life.
Becoming aware of a loss
Full awareness of a major
loss can happen suddenly or over a few days or weeks. While an expected loss
(such as a death after a long illness) can take a short time to absorb, a
sudden or tragic loss can take more time. Similarly, it can take time to grasp
the reality of a loss that doesn't affect your daily routine, such as a death
in a distant city.
During this time, you may feel numb and seem distracted. You
may search or yearn for your lost loved one. Funerals
and other rituals and events during this time may help you accept the reality
of your loss.
Feeling and expressing grief
Your way of feeling
and expressing grief is unique to you and the nature of your loss. You may find
that you feel irritable and restless, are quieter than usual, or need to be
distant from or close to others. Or you may find that you aren't the same person you were
before the loss. Don't be surprised if you experience conflicting feelings
while grieving. For example, it's normal to feel despair about a death or a job
loss yet also feel relief.
The grieving process does not happen
in a step-by-step or orderly fashion. Grieving tends to be unpredictable, with
sad thoughts and feelings coming and going, like a roller-coaster ride. After
the early days of grieving, you may sense a lifting of numbness and sadness and
experience a few days without tears. Then, for no apparent reason, the intense
grief may strike again.
While grieving may make you want to
isolate yourself from others and hold it all in, it's important that you find
some way of expressing your grief. Use whatever mode of expression works for you. Talking, writing, creating art or music, or being physically active are
all ways of expressing grief.