Infertility Tests for Every Aspect of a Couple's Life
Patti Gellman rode a physical and emotional roller coaster for two years trying to get pregnant for the first time. What she and her husband, Alex, thought would be a simple act of love to produce a child turned into a highly medicalized journey of poking, prodding, discomfort and -- perhaps the hardest part -- month after month of heartache when nothing seemed to work. Their turmoil finally paid off in 1993, however, when Gellman delivered healthy twin boys.
"I didn't think anyone would be able to talk me into going through that again, especially since I had two wonderful, healthy sons," says Gellman, who lives in Ambler, Pa. But she had a change of heart last winter and, after going through another couple of rounds of in vitro fertilization, delivered another baby boy five months ago.
Anyone who has struggled with infertility will tell you this: It can be quite the roller-coaster ride. "The hardest thing for us was not having answers," says one woman, now 38. She and her 45-year-old husband were derailed for several years while doctors tried to figure out the cause of their infertility.
Unlike this couple, about 80% to 85% of U.S. couples are able to get pregnant after a year of trying. When you get past the year mark, however, it's time to seek help. If you're over age 35, it's...
As Gellman can attest, the desire to have children can be so strong that infertile couples often will go to great physical, emotional and financial lengths to get pregnant. The good news is that about 80% of these couples will eventually succeed, typically with the help of a reproductive endocrinologist, and the vast majority won't need to undergo the more advanced and costly technologies, like in vitro fertilization. In addition, improvements in lab practices have increased the odds that these more sophisticated methods will work, while at the same time reducing the risk of multiple births.
"The problem is that infertility affects every aspect of a woman's life," says Alice Domar, a health psychologist and director of the Mind/Body Program for Infertility at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Harvard Medical School. "It affects their relationship with their husbands because men and women don't respond to infertility in the same way. It affects their sex life because they're told when they can and can't have intercourse. It affects relationships with friends and family because everyone else seems to be getting pregnant effortlessly. It affects jobs because they have to miss tons of time for doctor's appointments and procedures. It can send them into a spiritual crisis. They feel cruddy because they're going through all these invasive tests and procedures which hurt. And it costs a ton of money."
If you're among the estimated 10% of reproductive-age couples who are infertile -- defined as being unable to conceive a child for at least a year without medical assistance -- count your blessings for these advancements in science. But also be prepared to enter a maze filled with uncertainty, disappointment and anxiety. Fortunately, arming yourself with as much information about infertility as you can from the start, forging a support network of women who've been there, and developing a realistic outlook can help, experts say. Here are some thoughts from the trenches -- from veterans and fertility specialists alike -- that might make that journey easier.