Want to be a successful musician? Or a novelist? Or maybe you just want to fit into your high school jeans? Everyone has dreams, big or small -- but not everyone makes them come true.
Even among people who explicitly stated their goals, only 46% considered themselves successful 6 months later, a study in the Journal of Clinical Psychology found. And those who just had a dream they wanted to pursue but didn't resolve to do anything? The number of successful people dwindled to 4%.
By Amy Engeler
At 3 a.m., with all the houses dark up and down her winding suburban street in West Warwick, Rhode Island, Jo-Ann Frey, 37, lights a candle so she can see well enough to dust her furniture. Careful not to turn on any lights or make noise that might wake up her family, she drifts from room to room with her candle and cleaning supplies, waiting until she feels sleepy enough to climb back into bed. That feeling doesn't come -- and when she hears the alarm in the bedroom go off...
Most goals are hard to achieve -- that's why they're goals -- but why are more than 50% of us dropping the ball on our dreams?
People tend to think goal-reaching is about willpower and motivation, but it's not, says Heidi Reeder, PhD, author of Commit to Win: How to Harness the Four Elements of Commitment to Reach Your Goals.
"There are many goals that require a much longer vision," Reeder says. "Willpower can help me go running on this particular day, but what about 4 months later when I'm still training for that marathon race? The secret to reaching your goals is commitment."
How to Commit to Commitment
Here are three tips to help you cultivate that commitment -- and dedicate yourself to achieving your dream.
Break down your goal into smaller pieces. In our we-want-it-now culture, we often expect to see results right away, but change takes time, Reeder says. To stick to your efforts, celebrate the progress, not just the final outcome. Trying to save $10,000 for a down payment on a house? Shoot for $500 a month, and then reward yourself for meeting your mini-goal.
Remove small barriers. "Surprisingly, it is often the little, fixable things that get in our way," Reeder says. Is your gym too far away to get to every day? Sign up at a closer one. Does your boss always bring donuts into the office? Avoid the break room. Instead of making excuses, just fix them.
Stay focused. If your goal is a lasting marriage, don't allow yourself to linger on thoughts of your sexy new co-worker, Reeder says. If your goal is to finish project A, don't start fantasizing about the excitement of project B or C. "Your attention matters," she says, "so consistently focus it on your commitment."