When I was in a manic episode, the sky was the limit. I had no concept of money. I was kind of like that person who said they still have money because they still have checks.
I really was. I bought several Mercedes in an afternoon.
One of the downsides of celebrity is that people will grant you things like that because you have a name that is familiar. When we're way up there we don't like people.
Well, we think they're judging us. We certainly don't like the ones who want us to account for our actions especially if I'm buying for my grandchildren or my pets.
I may look at the price tag and say, "Are they out of their minds?" And then I'll buy three of them because they look so cute in different colors.
I had misbehaved so to speak during manic phases publically and so coming out about having this illness paled in comparison to all those outrageous things that I was doing.
I've never been a 12-step person but I do subscribe to a number of the ideas and one of the steps is to make amends.
That was at least 80% of the healing for me was to going to my children acknowledging what my terrible behavior was not saying that bipolar is an excuse for that it's an explanation.
I have made amends to people that I barely I knew. When I finished what I thought was my list, the relief grew and there were no dirty little secrets and that was very healing to me.
My wellness team exists of really one person. Thank God for my husband, who did not know me when I was off the charts.
Actually, I was diagnosed not quite a year before we met. So my relationship with my children, we've come a long very hard way
every single one of us and we now have that wonderful feeling of the wisdom to look back and say, â€œWhew, we made it.â€
Fear and shame are two of the elements that keep us from first of all being diagnosed, secondly using the treatment and thirdly relieving ourselves of the guilt and shame
that we have lived with for so long. I never thought that I would reach a point in my life where more often than not, I see myself as a decent person.