Health & Balance
Happiness: 6 Myths and Truths
If you'd like to be happier -- who wouldn't? -- the first step may be to challenge your own views about happiness.
Maybe you think that to be happier, you need more than you have now -- more freedom, more money, more love ... fill in the blank. Or maybe you've convinced yourself that this is as good as it gets.
Such beliefs may be more myth than fact. Although a myth usually contains a kernel of truth, it can also sprout and grow, spreading seeds of doubt that can ultimately crowd out your own growth.
Here are six common myths about happiness that may actually be downsizing your happiness. The truth may set you free for a happier life, starting right now.
Happiness Myth No. 1: Either you have it or you don't.
Say you have two kids you've raised just the same, but they have opposite personalities -- one sour, the other sunny. This makes it hard to dispute the fact that genes play a powerful role in each person's happiness. There's evidence that genetics contributes to about 50% of your happiness set point.
But that's a far cry from 100%, says Sonja Lyubormirsky, PhD, author of The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want and professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside.
"If you do the work, research shows you can become happier, no matter what your set point is," Lyubomirsky says. "You probably won't go from a one to a 10, but you can become happier. It just takes commitment and effort, as with any meaningful goal in life."
Not only can you become happier, but it gets easier over time, she says. Do you want to work on nurturing relationships, writing in a gratitude journal, committing random acts of kindness, or developing a program of morning meditation or exercise? Changes like these -- proven methods for enhancing happiness -- can become habits after a while, which means they eventually take less effort.
Happiness Myth No. 2: Happiness is a destination.
Many people think of happiness as a destination or acquisition -- whether it's marriage, money, or a move to a new location. Sure, things like these can contribute to happiness, but not as much as you might think -- only about 10% of your whole happiness picture, Lyubomirsky says.
If you've done the math, you now realize that about 40% of your happiness is in your hands. Lasting happiness has more to do with how you behave and think, which you ultimately control more than many of life's circumstances.
Robert Biswas-Diener, MS, founder of Meridian Life Coaching LLC and co-author of Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth, agrees.
"Happiness isn't the emotional finish line in the race of life," he says. It's a process and a resource. Biswas-Diener says there's a mountain of data showing that when people are happier, they become healthier and more curious, sociable, helpful, creative, and willing to try new things.
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