June 26, 2000 -- Confronted with a gun-toting third-grader, most people
would call 911. But one California teacher reacted differently: She hugged the
armed boy. In response, he melted into tears. "My mother is in prison,"
he said. "They're going to move her out of the state. I want to go with
The story holds a lesson for all teachers, says Bonnie Benard, an Oakland,
Calif., educational consultant and designer of the Resilience Module used in
California public schools. "A good teacher can help a child be resilient.
When you ask kids how they managed to get through the tough times, they'll tell
you, 'There was this teacher who cared when there was nobody at home.'
Grief is defined as the primarily emotional/affective process of reacting to the loss of a loved one through death. The focus is on the internal, intrapsychic process of the individual. Normal or common grief reactions may include components such as the following:
Numbness and disbelief.
Anxiety from the distress of separation.
A process of mourning often accompanied by symptoms of depression.
Grief reactions can also be viewed...
For the Healthy Kids report released to school administrators in May
2000, the state of California polled 27,000 middle-school and high-school
students to see how many engaged in high-risk behaviors such as binge drinking
and drug use, and how many had these three "resilience factors":
Supportive relationships with teachers who care and take the time to get to
know their students.
High-expectation messages from teachers -- such as "you can do
better" and "I believe in you."
Community outreach programs that allow kids to give back to society and
develop a sense of purpose and meaning.
The students who said they had such close relations with teachers and
community programs were less likely to turn to alcohol, drugs, or violence.
Says Bernard: "Our message to teachers and school administrators is,
'There's something you can do.' "
Valerie Andrews has written for Intuition, HealthScout, and many
other publications. She lives in Greenbrae, Calif.