By Cristy LytalShe's cracked the code for putting joy in everyday life. Learn her secrets
Jennifer Aniston owns a gold necklace — a gift from friends — with a charm
blending good-luck symbols from around the world: an elephant, a horseshoe, and
But lately, it looks as if that necklace can stay in Aniston's jewelry box.
She doesn't need any talismans in her corner. America's favorite Friend
is looking happier than ever before, and it's all thanks to her own hard work.
"Daydreaming is looked upon negatively because it represents 'non-doing' in
a society that emphasizes productivity," says John McGrail, a clinical
hypnotherapist in Los Angeles. "We are under constant pressure to do, achieve,
But daydreaming can be beneficial in many ways and, ironically, can actually
boost productivity. Plus, it's something almost everyone does naturally.
Psychologists estimate that we daydream for one-third to one-half of our waking
hours, although a single daydream lasts only a few minutes.
At their best, daydreams allow you "a range of possibilities which, in the
hard cold light of reality, aren't possible," psychiatrist Stuart Twemlow tells
WebMD. Twemlow is director of the Hope Program at The Menninger Clinic in
Specifically, daydreaming helps you:
Relax. Like meditation, daydreaming allows your mind to
take a break, a mini-vacation in which to release tension and anxiety and
"return" refreshed. It's also very useful for controlling anxiety and phobias.
Say, for example, that you're afraid of flying, which you have to do for an
upcoming trip. By mentally rehearsing the various steps involved -- driving to
the airport, getting on the plane, taking off, etc. -- you'll be better able to
handle the actual events. It also helps to practice deep breathing anytime a
certain thought makes you tense.
Manage conflict. The same kind of organized daydreaming --
or visualization -- used to curb anxiety is also useful for personal conflicts.
Psychotherapist Tina Tessina calls it "rewinding the tape." As you review in
your mind an argument you had with someone, you go back and imagine responding
differently than you did. Try this a few times, responding differently each
time, and you'll begin to figure out better ways of dealing with the person in
the future. "This exercise really helps you avoid your standard knee-jerk
reactions," Tessina tells WebMD.
Maintain relationships. Absence makes the heart grow
fonder, especially among daydreamers. Happy couples tend to think about one
another when they're apart, which has the effect of psychologically maintaining
the relationship, says James Honeycutt, PhD, author of Imagined Interactions:
Daydreaming about Communication. "We daydream about the people we love,"
Honeycutt tells WebMD. "We imagine sharing good news with them, along with our
successes and failures. Unhappy couples daydream about arguments and ruminate
about conflict while happy individuals think positively ahead."