Skip to content
My WebMD Sign In, Sign Up

6. See Yourself as a Sexual Person

Sometimes, how you feel about yourself or your body can also be a barrier to sex. “I had a hard time feeling sexy when I needed other people to do things for me,” says Brown. “That was a big hurdle for me to get over. But I learned that the issue was in my own head, and it didn’t affect how my wife saw me.”

“You may not feel attractive or sexy if you’re dealing with weight gain, hair loss, or skin rashes,” says Grusd. “But it’s important to continue to see yourself as a sexual, vibrant person.”

Trying to keep an upbeat, positive attitude can help. “Your attitude can really play a big part in how you feel about yourself,” says Grusd. Taking care of yourself by eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest can also help you feel better, both physically and mentally. A therapist or support group may also help give your self-esteem a positive boost.

7. Communicate Openly About Sex

It’s not always easy to talk about sex. But trying to be honest and open with your partner can lead to even greater intimacy. Practice telling your partner when something hurts or feels uncomfortable, and be sure to let him know when he’s doing something right. Talk with your partner about his needs too, and ask what kind of touching or caressing he might enjoy.

“You need to remember that your partner has needs too,” says Brown. “When you’re sick it can be easy to feel sorry for yourself and not consider your partner’s needs. But if you want your relationship to succeed and grow, it’s really important to talk about it and try to understand how your partner is feeling.”

8. Practice Patience With Your Body

Learn to be patient with yourself when your body doesn’t respond the way you want it to. And try to be patient with your partner. Learning to live with lupus is a new experience for you both. You may need to take things more slowly than in the past, and work on learning new ways to be intimate together.

Community TV:

Speaking of Lupus

Lupus advocate Christine Miserandino offers tips, advice, and coping strategies for living with lupus.
Watch Video

Coping
With Lupus

WebMD's Day2Night will help you develop personal coping strategies for living with lupus – at home,
at work, or with family
and friends.
Visit Lupus Day2Night