Penny Frese, PhD, was studying fine arts at Ohio University when she met her future husband. They saw each other for several months, and she noticed he avoided talking about anything personal. "We took a walk in a park, and it was toward the end of summer -- a gorgeous, beautiful day. I confronted him about not being totally honest … and he said he had had a 'schizophrenic break.'"
For some couples, that might have been the end. Frese went to the library and read up on schizophrenia. She learned that people do best when they are in long-term, loving relationships. "I just intended to keep the friendship, but 6 months later we were married."
That was 37 years ago. The couple says deep friendships and romance are within reach for people with schizophrenia. But these ties take a lot of effort from both partners.
People with schizophrenia tend to avoid social situations, and that makes it tough to form friendships. "Social relationships are quite impaired in people with schizophrenia," says Philip D. Harvey, PhD, a professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Miami. "If you're not interested in socializing, you won't."
"I went years and years without dating," says Elyn Saks, JD, PhD. She's a professor at the University of Southern California Gould School of Law and was diagnosed with schizophrenia during graduate school. "When I became ill, that part of my life fell by the wayside."
Reclaiming a social life usually requires three steps for people with schizophrenia:
Work with your psychiatrist to find the right medication to control psychotic symptoms.
See a therapist who can help you with the skills that are needed to form and keep relationships.
Find ways to get "social exercise." This can be a job or a club or any activity that gets you out of the house and around other people, Harvey says.
Saks honed her social skills while pursuing a career in law and psychology. She met her future husband at the law library. "It was the best thing that ever happened to me," she says. With effort, medication, and therapy, "you can have good friends and relationships,” she says.