Why Women Lose Interest in Sex -- and 10 Tips to Rekindle Desire

As you are reading this article, no less than one in three women you know are experiencing a loss of interest in sex.

“Loss of libido in women, or low sexual desire, is the most common sexual problem for women and the main reason they seek sex therapy,” says Patricia Koch, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Biobehavioral Health & Women’s Studies at Pennsylvania State University and Adjunct Professor of Human Sexuality at Widener University.  “It affects anywhere from 33% to 67% of women, depending on how sexual desire is defined and reported,” according to Koch, whose research specializes in loss of libido in women.

It can happen to men, too – but because it only affects about half as many men as women, it is not men’s top sex problem. (See Loss of Libido in Men for more on that.) So what exactly does loss of libido mean for women and why does it happen? WebMD consulted the top experts in the field of sexuality for answers on not only the causes, but the treatments as well.

What Does Loss of Libido Mean?

“Sexual desire is one of the most difficult to define because it is more psychological than physiological,” says Koch, who is also President of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality.

Edward Laumann, lead author of The Social Organization of Sexuality, a compendium of survey data on sexual practices in the United States, offers a simple definition: “It is a lack of interest in sex for several months of the past year.” 

In short, women know it when they don’t feel it.

Is Loss of Libido in Women Normal?

“Don’t call loss of libido a disorder,” Laumann says. “How can it be a dysfunction if one-third of women, no matter what their age, report that they lose interest?

“This is normal,” he says, and a growing number of researchers concur.

“Low sexual desire is not a disease, it is the understandable result of an imbalance in your life…in your relationship, your life circumstances or your body,” writes Kathryn Hall, Ph.D. in Reclaiming Your Sexual Self: How You Can Bring Desire Back into Your Life.

Just because loss of libido in women is normal and common, however, doesn’t mean you can’t fix it. Many women feel as if they are letting their partners down. They also feel alienated and left out in today’s powerfully sexually-charged world where everyone, from the models in lingerie ads to the doctors on TV, seem to think of little else besides sex. It’s as if “you’re the only one who doesn’t get the joke,” writes Hall.

Even worse, losing interest in sex can mean you miss out on a lot more than simply one of life’s few non-fattening pleasures. It can begin to drain the passion out of the rest of your life, as well.