Skip to content

Women's Health

How to Stop Nagging

Find more effective ways to communicate in your relationship, and leave the nagging behind.
Font Size
A
A
A

The Essence of Nagging continued...

 

But like any facet of a relationship, nagging is a two-way street.

 

"Obviously, if a woman feels responded to she won't need to keep bringing up the same issues," says Turndorf, who is author of Till Death Do Us Part (Unless I Kill You First) . "On the surface, it's easy to assume that it's all the nagee's fault -- if he responded better, nagging wouldn't be happening."

 

But rather than assigning blame -- is it the husband's fault for not cleaning the kitchen, or the wife's for griping so much about it -- start looking for more productive ways to communicate, or risk damaging the intimacy in your relationship: According to a study presented at the 2003 Society for Personality and Social Psychology conference in February, nagging can lessen a couple's intimacy.

Making Change

"How a woman presents her 'beefs' determines whether or not her partner will be responsive," says Turndorf. "Modern danger is no longer the ferocious tiger, it's the angry wife or girlfriend. When she comes at him baring her teeth, berating him with criticisms, and nagging his head off, his body sees danger and switches into the fight-flight mode. Since he doesn't want to fight her, he flees instead."

 

Before your partner grabs his golf clubs and heads for the door, not to be seen until 36-holes are under his belt, turn the temperature on the nagging down a bit.

 

"The way out is what I call 'climate control,'" says Turndorf. "Women need to learn how to properly communicate their needs, and it begins with calmly stating what was said or done and how you felt about it."

 

Another tactic is to take action, instead of getting on the soapbox.

"Skip the nagging, and try taking action," says Weiner-Davis. "Skills like active listening allow couples to learn how to talk to each other in such a way that they are heard. Too often, when couples talk to each other about heated issues, they are too busy defending themselves to hear on a deep level what their spouses are saying and feeling. If they can learn the tools for fair fighting, then both spouses can be heard, and nagging isn't necessary."

Today on WebMD

hands on abdomen
Test your knowledge.
womans hand on abdomen
Are you ready for baby?
 
birth control pills
Learn about your options.
insomnia
Is it menopause or something else?
 
Couple with troubles
Article
Bone density illustration
VIDEO
 
Young woman being vaccinated
Slideshow
woman holding hand to ear
Slideshow
 

Send yourself a link to download the app.

Loading ...

Please wait...

This feature is temporarily unavailable. Please try again later.

Thanks!

Now check your email account on your mobile phone to download your new app.

Blood pressure check
Slideshow
mother and daughter talking
Evaluator
 
intimate couple
Article
puppy eating
Slideshow