Navigating Life With Optimism

[MUSIC PLAYING] Hi, I'm Dr. John Whyte, the Chief Medical Officer of WebMD.

Are you a glass half full or half empty type of person? Does it really matter?

In a world often clouded by uncertainty and challenges, how important is it to hold on to optimism? Can a positive outlook genuinely impact our well-being and our mental health?

Joining me today is Dr. Sue Varma. She's a clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at NYU Langone Health, and has a new book out entitled, Practical Optimism-- The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Well-Being. In her book-- which I thoroughly enjoyed-- Dr. Varma offers a unique blend of scientific understanding and actionable advice.

Dr. Varma, thanks for joining me today.

Thank you so much for having me. Really appreciate it, Dr. John.

It's great to see you. And as I said, I really enjoyed your book, and you bringing in science, as well as practical advice. But I got to start off with, what inspired you to write this book?

Thank you so much for the positive feedback. I have been thinking about happiness and wellness for a long time. And I have to say, I got distracted because in medical school, all we learn about is disease and pathology and the treatment of illness. And it wasn't until my work after residency, I was recruited to be the medical director of the 9/11 Mental Health program. And in that program, it wasn't until then that I really became fascinated by the idea of resilience.

So that was one of the big influencers and also, my own journey to therapy. And so things in my own life, blind spots, brought me to therapy. And what I loved about therapy was how certain types of therapy-- cognitive behavioral therapy, for instance-- was very actionable.

So when I was looking at my patients some years later, and I was putting together what I learned-- treating trauma, the big T. Life-threatening. All the loss of life and health that day-- is that what is it about some people that are just naturally, more resilient? And for those of us who may not be, what can we learn from them?

And that's when I sort of started the second phase of my career, which went beyond treating illness, was promoting wellness and promoting wellness in a way that all of us can have agency and access to tools. And that's what practical optimism is about. It's not just, a positive outlook. It's teaching people how to turn positive outlooks into positive outcomes through actions and skills that we can all tap into.

Many of us haven't heard that term, practical optimism, so tell us a little more, what that is. And how do you apply it to everyday life?

Yes. So practical optimism is a skill set, an action set, a mindset, a tool set so that in times of need, you're able to do certain things. You're able to regulate your emotions when in the midst of crisis. You're able to ask for help. You're able to develop confidence in your abilities. You're able to problem solve in a way where you're not pulled down by rumination, thoughts about the past, thoughts about the future.

A lot of times people ask me, what's the difference between toxic positivity, woowoo thinking, and optimism? And optimism, those of us who are naturally born are naturally having access to being able to look at the most favorable outcome out of any outcome. A pessimist, not so much. And practical optimists are in between in the sense that they have some of the good qualities of what pessimism brings, which is pessimists are actually more realistic, and are actually more accurate in their assessment of a situation. However, their pessimism prevents them from acting. They get paralyzed in some of their fears.

Optimists, the extreme version of it go into a form of denial. Things will just work themselves out. What we call the ostrich effect, burying your head. Practical optimists take from both sides.

You have these eight pillars that can help guide you really in a journey to this practical optimism. What are some of those pillars that readers and viewers should be aware of?

Think of it as these are the eight things that optimists do, the ones who are practical, right? Starting with purpose. Doesn't have to be in any specific order, but purpose gives you an intention. Whether it's big P, capital P-- purpose in life, whether it's purpose in a relationship, purpose in a transaction, in a specific situation, but purpose helps you become very clear, very focused, and helps you find meaning and purpose in your life.

Sometimes it can be through helping other people. Sometimes it's through a creative endeavor. But people should know this. Purpose doesn't have to be connected to your paycheck. It could be coming from spending time with family, raising children, having hobbies. So anything that gives you joy, but joy can be cultivated within, through your own interest or your own hobbies. And I say that our purpose is our soul's way of engaging with the world in a way that is aligned with our own values, interests, and hobbies. And we have control over that.

Tell us some of the others.

So the next one is like processing emotions. And it takes more effort to suppress your emotions than it does to express them. And suppressing them creates more physical health problems in every aspect from anxiety and depression to more cardiac problems to more cold and infections.

And there's something I called name it, claim it, tame it, and reframe it. So these are four easy steps that help you build emotional awareness-- what am I feeling? And finding ways-- whether it's deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation-- different ways to kind of loosen what you're feeling in your body, and then be able to articulate it. Like, this happened today, therefore I am sad. A lot of times, people don't know their triggers.

And the last part of that is reframing it. This is the ultimate, pinnacle, I would say, is to be able to look at a negative thing and say, is there anything-- is there anything that I can learn from this?

The next one is problem solving. We're always contending with battles on two fronts, what's out there in the real world-- let's say you had a job loss-- and then the emotions and needing to regulate the emotions that come with that. If, oh, my god, I feel like a loser. What's wrong with me?

So problem solving helps you get out of your own head by helping you first, acknowledge, accept, process what you're feeling so that then, you can start to anticipate obstacles and move forward and create an action plan.

You talk about pride, and sometimes, people have grown up thinking pride is a bad word. You shouldn't be boastful. You shouldn't be proud. You should be humble.

Yes. But pride is one of your pillars, isn't it?

Yes. So this was something I struggled with. And what I realized is that self-esteem is a rather flawed concept. We put so much emphasis on boosting our kids' self-esteem. The problem is when your sense of self-worth is tied to something outside, if things don't work out in your favor-- the job, the grade, you didn't get into the sports team, the relationship-- your self-esteem takes a beating.

Self-compassion, that is what pride, healthy, intrinsic sense of self worth is based on. It says all right, this didn't work out for me, but you know what, I'm human I'm going to try again tomorrow.

You also focus on science, in terms of your recommendations, your advice, your guidelines. Why is that important for readers to know that what you're talking about is backed by scientific study? Because there's a lot of books out there that are just some doctors' opinion. Yours goes much beyond that, doesn't it?

Thank you so much for saying that. And I really appreciate you saying that because I have so much respect for the work that you do, and it was so important to me, John, because even if I have 20 years of clinical experience, and I've worked with so many different patient populations, and I've learned so much, I didn't want anything in the book to not be backable because I am very much someone who believes in scientific inquiry. And I want people to be empowered by giving them the science.

And if you look on my website-- doctorsuevarma.com-- you'll see, I have all the references there, and there's nothing there that's claimed that isn't backable. So I feel like you're going to be better able to take care of your health by having the sources themselves.

Who needs to read this book?

Everybody. Like, when I-- the reason I wrote this book is because even though I've been able to help so many people in my practice and then through sort of media and public speaking, also, being able to reach more people, I knew that many people were not necessarily going to see a therapist, or maybe they're in therapy, and they're like, but I want to do something when I'm home in between sessions, or it might open up someone to say, I want to learn more about myself.

So when my patients would say, what can I learn? There there's so many great books out there, and I would recommend them, but something always felt like there was something missing. Whether it was the science, or it was the compassion, or it was the storytelling, or it was a tangible takeaways.

And so I've spent years now writing this book and putting all of it in there-- heart, soul, mind, science. And I wanted to give a piece of me to people, a little piece of me. This is part of me to you, and I want to help you live longer. I want you to live happier, healthier, stronger connections, and have more joy and intention in what you're doing.

And it shows. And it addresses the concept of there is no physical health without mental health, and no mental health without physical health. The book, Practical Optimism-- The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Well-Being,

Well, Dr. Sue Varma, you are exceptional, and this book is exceptional. And I just want to thank you for taking time to share what you're doing, as well as to explain how we can all become practical optimists. Thank you.

Thank you so much. Thank you. That means a lot.

[AUDIO LOGO]