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How Storytelling Helps Children Express Feelings About Loss

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Parents and other caregivers can help children express themselves through telling stories. When children tell stories, they often use other people or animals to represent their feelings, concerns, or fears. This is called symbolic language, and it lets the child express these emotions without talking directly about himself or herself. Any character in the story could represent the child's feelings.

A child telling a story may not be aware that he or she is using symbolic language. But the adult may recognize this and can then use the story to talk about the child's feelings. For example, a child may not be able to talk about being angry because of separation from one or both parents, but the child may be able to tell a story about an animal that was very upset when left behind by its family. In this way, the child can talk about his or her anger without feeling guilty or ashamed.

Use the situations and characters in the child's story to help him or her deal with feelings, fears, and concerns:

  • Ask the child to give more details in the story. This helps a child express his or her emotions.
  • Retell the story with different endings. This helps a child draw different conclusions from the ones he or she could have drawn independently.

Follow these steps when using storytelling to help a child deal with loss:

  • Tell the child that you want to make up a story with his or her help. Ask the child to start the story. If the child seems unwilling, you start.
  • Explain that you will take turns telling the story.
  • If you start the story, you can say, "Once upon a time, long ago, a little boy (girl, rabbit, dog, cat) was...," then point to the child and ask the child to continue the story.
  • Use the words the child uses to connect another part of the story. Take your time. You can make up a story about almost anything as a way to introduce the child to a storytelling concept. Making up a story of the child's choosing may also help put the child at ease.
  • Continue the story, back and forth, until it reaches a comfortable ending.
  • Praise the child for being able to make up a story with you.
  • Ask if the story has a lesson in it. It is okay if it doesn't.

WebMD Medical Reference from Healthwise

Last Updated: November 14, 2014
This information is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. Healthwise disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information.
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