The sense of hearing can also be sensual -- especially if the two lovers are talking openly about their likes and dislikes. Married people, especially, need to communicate more about sex, Dwoskin says. "This is the sexiest thing you can do."
No time for a heart-to-heart at night? Try for a morning delight. "Honey, you know, it kind of hurts when you do that." You get the idea.
Dwoskin also recommends not concentrating on your partner so much, but taking pleasure in your own sensations. If your partner is satisfying you, he or she will be satisfied, he says. The key is to stop worrying about that bulge that might be showing (which is probably the farthest thing from the mind of your partner, who is having sex, after all) and start feeling the sex. "Let go of guilt, fear, shame and self-consciousness," he says.
If you are shy about sex, Valan-Hudson suggests reviving your enjoyment of touch. Get some massages, facials, pedicures. (She also recommends strategically placed pillows when you do get to the main event. )
For those who are just getting into (or getting back into) the dating game, Valan-Hudson says, finding your romance groove can be a long process. You have nothing to lose by trying, though, she says. "If you are fun-loving, be fun-loving," she recommends. "Make eye contact. Not all men or women like a skinny partner. Everyone has an ego; pay attention to the person."
And once you get started down the road to romance, it becomes a healthy cycle. "The more sex you get, the more you will want," Valan-Hudson notes.
Back to Those Sexy Scanties
Buying new lingerie can make you feel sexier. But Valan-Hudson says heavier women often think they need to buy the sort of getups you might see in an X-rated film -- garter belts and the like. Of course, you can get this type of outfit; even Victoria's Secret is carrying realistic sizes these days. Or you could create your own sexy style.
"My first recommendation is buy a good, sexy bra," Valan-Hudson says. "This is your base, then you can add a couple of items on top. A nightie or peignoir, perhaps. "Go with what makes you feel sexy," she says (he might even prefer your Scooby Doo t-shirt!).