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Addicted to Sex.

It may sound funny, but for those whose lives are controlled by their insatiable desire for sex or love, it's anything but a laughing matter. If you or someone you care about is suffering, help is available. Read on.

Treating Obsessions

It's unclear how sexual addictions fit within the realm of mental illnesses, says Martin. Because of this, he prefers to call the disorder "problematic hypersexuality" rather than "sex addiction."

It's interesting, he adds, that a lot of problems in which the brain is obsessed with one activity -- whether it's sex, drugs, or alcohol -- tend to occur together.

Scientists are now studying medications that could possibly treat addiction to love and sex. In the meantime, doctors like Martin use psychotherapy and techniques used for treating other addictions to help people who have life-disrupting sexual thoughts and actions. This may involve prescribing drugs for problems that go along with it, like depression or anxiety.

Twelve-step programs use meetings and the sharing of stories to provide comfort for the troubled. The idea is that there are other people who are trying to deal with the same problems.

Jim says his salvation came through being in the company of people whose lives had also spun out of control.

Do You Need Help?

On its web site, the group Sexual Compulsives Anonymous lists some characteristics most of its members have in common:

  • They use compulsive sex as a drug, to escape from feelings like anxiety, loneliness, anger, and self-hatred, as well as joy.
  • They become immobilized by romantic obsessions. Becoming addicted to the search for sex and love makes them neglect their lives.
  • They try to bring intensity and excitement into their lives through sex, but feel themselves growing steadily emptier.
  • Even when they get the love of another person, it never seems enough, and they're unable to stop lusting after others.
  • They try to conceal their dependency demands, growing more isolated from themselves, from God, and from the very people they long to be close to.

For those still unsure of whether they have a problem with sex and love addiction, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous has drawn up 40 questions for self-diagnosis, including:

  • Have you ever tried to control how much sex to have or how often you would see someone?
  • Do you get "high" from sex and/or romance? Do you crash?
  • Do you believe that sex and/or a relationship will make your life bearable?
  • Have you lost count of the number of sexual partners you've had?
  • Have you had a serious relationship threatened or destroyed because of an affair?
  • Are you unable to concentrate on other areas of your life because of thoughts or feelings you are having about another person or about sex?

Where to Turn

The following organizations are resources for people who have addictions to sex and love:

  • American Academy of Addiction Psychiatry (AAAP)
    (913) 262-6161
  • Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA)
    (781) 255-8825
  • Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA)
    (800) 477-8191
  • Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
    (615) 331-6230
  • Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA)
    (800) 977-HEAL
  • Sexual Recovery Anonymous (SRA)
    (212) 340-4650
  • Codependents of Sexual Addiction (COSA)
    (763) 537-6904
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Reviewed on June 10, 2002

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