It's 9 p.m., and you're still at work. You can't relax at home with unfinished work on your desk. And if you don't get this done, your boss will be upset. At least, that's what you think.
It isn't the work that leaves you unable to relax. It's that you see the work as a threat. Stress is not a reaction to an event but rather to how you interpret the event, says psychologist Allan R. Cohen, PsyD. You think, "If I don't work late every night, I will get fired," or "My boss won't like me," or "My...
Some people have trouble turning it off or dealing with it the right way, though. Chronic, ongoing anger can tear down your relationships, job, social life, reputation -- even your health.
“Anger itself is neither good nor bad,” explains Mitch Abrams, PhD, an anger management expert and psychiatry professor at the Robert Wood Johnson Medical School at Rutgers University.
Low to moderate anger can even work for good, prompting you to right wrongs and make improvements.
But it also kicks your body's natural defenses into overdrive. When you sense a threat, your nervous system releases powerful chemicals that prepare you to fight, run, and stay alive. Your heart rate and breathing quicken. Your blood pressure rises, muscles tense, and you perspire.
The rapid anger response also amps up your brain. On one hand, it helps you quickly know a potential threat. On the other, it can push you to make rash decisions in the heat of the moment. It's no surprise anger is linked to accidents and risky activities like smoking, gambling, drinking, and overeating. Anger also plays a role in depression. Also, studies suggest that holding it inside may be just as unhealthy as blowing up.
At the least, unchecked anger can hold off the people you need the most. Worse, it can turn into aggression or violence.
“Nobody ever gets into trouble for feeling angry,” Abrams stresses. “But people sometimes get into trouble for what they do when they feel angry.”