Lots of people feel anxious from time to time. You might get a knot in your stomach before a job interview, stress about money, or fret if your child isn’t home by curfew. It’s a normal part of being human.
But what if your extreme worry doesn’t go away? Negative or obsessive thoughts can take over your mind to the point that it’s hard for you to handle everyday situations. That’s called neurotic behavior. It can -- but not always -- stem from a mental illness.
History of Neurosis
Neurotic means you’re afflicted by neurosis, a word that has been in use since the 1700s to describe mental, emotional, or physical reactions that are drastic and irrational. At its root, a neurotic behavior is an automatic, unconscious effort to manage deep anxiety.
In 1980, the American Psychiatric Association removed the term neurosis from its diagnostic manual as part of a revamp to standardize the criteria for mental illnesses. Today, neurosis is not a stand-alone mental condition. Instead, doctors most often put its symptoms in the same category as anxiety disorder. In other words, what used to be called neurosis now falls under the umbrella of anxiety.
The line that divides neurotic from normal is the intensity. Neurotic thoughts and behaviors by definition are so extreme that they interfere with your personal, professional, and romantic lives. What’s more, they tend to be your default response to even minor problems.
Common behavior: You worry about finishing a big project at work on time.
Neurotic behavior: You fixate on the deadline and moan, “I’ll never get this done!” even though it’s not due for months and you have little other work to do.
Common behavior: You like to get to the airport 2 hours before every flight.
Neurotic behavior: You insist on arriving 4 hours early, and then you ask the gate agent every 10 minutes if the departure is on time.
Common behavior: Your former spouse was unfaithful, and you’re wary about new relationships.
Neurotic behavior: You constantly ask your new partner if they’re cheating on you, and then blame yourself for driving them away.
Personality vs. Mental Illness
Sometimes neurotic behaviors arise because you literally have a neurotic personality. Also called neuroticism, it’s a personality type, not a diagnosable medical problem. Experts call it one of the “Big Five” personality traits (the others are extroversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, and openness to experience), a set of common characteristics that are found around the world most often.
A neurotic personality has little natural buffer against stress. You see everyday situations as far worse than they really are, and then blame yourself for your extreme pessimism and negativity. You might constantly feel:
Neurotic behaviors also can stem from mental health problems. A neurotic personality may make you more prone to get what researchers call “internalizing disorders,” such as:
- Generalized anxiety disorder
- Obsessive-compulsive disorder
- Social phobia
- Posttraumatic stress disorder
- Panic disorder
- Antisocial personality disorder
Neurotic personality or neurotic behaviors do not include delusions or hallucinations, which are symptoms of psychotic disorders where you lose touch with reality. Instead, you obsess over your own negative emotions and failures, real or imagined.
Researchers believe there’s a link between neurotic personality and your genes, which may pave the way for new treatments for anxiety or depression.
Costs and Benefits
At the same time, a healthy dose of neurotic tendencies can be useful. Someone with a balanced personality may channel anxiety about a deadline at work to frame it as a chance to earn a promotion or to team up with co-workers. Or worries about your health could motivate you to eat well and to exercise.
If you manage your anxiety and stress, it may help curb your neurotic behaviors. Self-treatment may work if your anxiety is mild and brief. Experts recommend that you:
Exercise every day. Thirty minutes is best, but even a 15-minute walk can help you feel better.
Talk to someone. Tell family and friends what’s fueling your anxiety, and let them know how they can help.
Eat well-balanced meals. Healthy meals and snacks boost your energy. Be sure to eat every meal: breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Reframe your thoughts. It’s not always easy, but try to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Ask yourself: Is what I’m worried about really as bad as I think?
Write it down. Track what triggers your anxiety, and then look for patterns. Learn better ways to handle it next time.
If these measures don’t help, or if you feel that anxiety is hampering your life, talk to your doctor.